The Way You Make Me Feel

Ken

This is coz' Lynnett and I are playing a game. Lolz.

"When All Hope is Lost".

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It was a warm, sunny morning where the birds will chirp their beautiful melody and the humming of the bees and the amiable swift floating movements of butterflies would flood the air. It was, just like every other morning. And just like every other morning, I wake up, with you next to me, holding me close and not letting go until I had to wake the both of us up.

It seemed like every ordinary day, where we would just spend the day together doing the things we do. More often than not, we would be strolling down the park taking Fifi for a walk along the pathways. And more often than not, we would be lying on the couch, watching the big rectangle one calls a flat screen television.

There wasn't really much going about on that day, all until a sudden phone call as you were preparing lunch and I, being the stoner that I am, was at the balcony enjoying the view from the 22nd floor. I went in a couple of moments later to see that you were barely able to comprehend whatever the conversation was on the phone- which you hardly ever do.

I ignored that moment of pause and went on to help get the plates. By the time I was back, it all seemed clear to me that something was wrong. The sudden change in the mood, the terror-stricken face of yours clearly sent tingles down my spine as I could only mutter out the words, "Baybe, is everything alright?".

You moved on to help me with the plates and cutleries before we settled down on the dining table to enjoy what seems to be leftover spaghetti from the previous night. A few bites in, you finally told me, with words that would pierce a hole through my heart, "I'm moving to London".

I didn't know how to react, as being the usual calm and ice-cold person that I am, I usually take things well and react to it accordingly. However, this was rather exceptional. I did not know whether to cry or to be mad, whether to throw myself off a cliff or to beg you to stay. I was practically clueless.

We both knew that the more we talked about it, the harder it was for either one of us to actually bear with each other. So, being the honest person that you are, you told me how you felt about it, and so did I. Alas, we came to a decision where we would only speak about it when it comes to a point where it needs to be spoken.

A month goes by, it doesn't seem like there's anything happening. Even if there was, I did not bother to know. We spent more time with each other, and as often as we could. However, I guess it was really till that point, that we could really go to. The 3years of love, memories, compassion, understanding, and care was simply about to vanish a lot sooner than what I would expect.

We were practically on top of a mountain, at the peak of our relationship, until suddenly one decision made by someone else, practically made us fell from that mountain from its peak. I wasn't ready to let go, neither were you. But just when all hope seems lost, you told me words turned that frown of mine into the broadest smile I ever could conjure.

You told me you were staying, and that you would most likely finish your education here before moving. I was happy, I was blissful, I was over the moon and beyond the stars in the galaxy. I thought the nightmare was over, and that those 3years we had were gonna be heading for a longer period, but I guess I was wrong.

Another sudden phone call a day after, and that was what really decided where we would go from there onwards. With dissatisfaction and unhappiness screaming through the phone, it was time, time that you and I let go. But for the sake of everything, those 3years, you stayed on for 2 more weeks, in which was like the countdown to what could have been true love.

Those 2 weeks, are still fresh in my memory now. It only seemed like yesterday we would spend the night at the hill looking at the stars, going to watch fireflies at Kuala Selangor, enjoying the breathtaking view of the city night lights with you wrapping your arms around me, and where we would cuddle in the middle of the night staying up waiting for either one of us to fall asleep. Ah, good times they were, heck, those were times beyond replacement, and beyond imaginable.

You gave me everything, but at the end of the day, the only thing that was missing, was you. It seemed like we couldn't argue whenever we could have. It seemed like we couldn't stay mad at each other, even if it's just 5 minutes. It seemed like we were meant for each other, as the love and tender loving care we share was simply a feeling one could only find once in a lifetime.

When all hope is lost, you left me here, stranded on a deserted island, with no one else to adhere to, no one else to rant to, no one else to pamper with, no one else to advise me, and no one else to truly, madly, deeply love me. Even so, I thank you for what you've given me, for nothing can replace that, and nobody can replace you. <3



*It isn't to hard to see, we're in heaven.