The End of An Era/Dream

8th of June, 8.43pm ( Malaysia time), 1.43pm ( England time ):
p.s. : Don't ask me how I know the timing in England and these messages are copy/paste.

" Baybe,

Seeing that things are like this, I noe that either ah jie has been telling u stuff or that u're just pretending...But truth be told, it's not easy to let go... And really, I've not gotten over it, so stop saying that I have... Anyways...I dun wanna argue with you nor do I wanna do something I would regret la...

But considering the circumstances, and I've talked to Gaby last nite...She also say that itz difficult lor...Yet, I won't let this go so easily...Im sure u noe that...

And yeah, I've been emo and goin thru a rough time here...I dunno you la...Coz' you now like this then I can't do anything rite? Knowing those times are gone, you tell me how not to be sad? You also get the feeling, so there's no need to tell me those crap from the previous msg... Sry for saying it like this...But i've been thinking la...With things like this rite...How can u let it go so quick? Not possible rite? Sighs...

I dunno if ah jie has been saying anything to you, but I'm sure she has la... So, you tell me la... I also dunno what to say dy baybe...Coz' i noe for sure u're still feeling something...But u noe that is not within my reach now to be there for you...though i wish i could, and if i could, i would definitely would...

Ah jie also another one la...I mean yea, she has been helping out before, but now she like ask u to stop it all of a sudden...Don't you think she's a bit over? I have no comment la really, coz if she's reading too, so be it la... Based on that rite, baybe i can tell you... I know that ah jie certainly got influence the last msg u sent, coz it's not possible for u to say such things knowing after all this while u've never said things like that before...

Unless wat u're saying that those 3years have been nothing? Those nites there at ur place meant nothing? Those times we spent together talking and caring meant nothing also meh?
I really dunno la...Coz' all i noe is i've been caring for u...but if u're not that same person, then i'm sorry..i don't want anything to do with you...

It hurts me a lot to see u change, if u had la...but really...i never really thought it'll come here...
It sucks u noe to talk to u thru mail only...it really is...another thing u tell me la...if itz really u were "wrong" about this rite...then what's the point staying back 2weeks before u left?
Aiya...i really dunno how to put it in words my feelings now...Coz reading what u sent me rite, sighs...really...it god damn hurts u noe...it hurts...

Sighs...i noe itz difficult to make this happen...we're like worlds apart now...u asked me to be together with u and my answer was "the answer lies in you" rite? So now, im giving u that same answer...just so u noe, i've always cared for u, loved u and cherished the times we had...but it's not in my will to stop this...i really got nth to say dy baybe...

The answer lies in you..."




10th of June, 7.46pm (Malaysia time), 12.46pm ( England time ) :

" Baybe. Yes, i know u know that ah jie talk to me all those things lar but what she say if u come to think of it right, is true. correct or not? i know that i should not act as though i've gotten over it, but then you and i both know that sustaining this is not really much of an option now. i know you're hurting, but to tell you the truth le, i too am crying quite a lot u noe, and usually when i talk to ah jie lar.
Sigh..u noe me more than ah jie, but sometimes rite, ah jie is the only one that noes how to carry me through this type of things. i noe again you're gonna say ah jie influence my mesagge but really, even if she has, she is the only one.
I still love you too, but i told u, if things are meant to be........then they are....daddy also now damn happy here, he keep saying that here suitable lar and all those things. i know you still care, but haihs.....it is also not in my reach to sustain this relationship ler baybe. i hope u understand le, cause all this while we've been there for each other and all but this is something beyond what we can achieve. sighs.
Those time together were not nothing lar baybe, you dont like this. Sigh. it meant a lot to me that u've always took the time to be there for me, and i hope it means a lot to you for the same thing that i have done. but u know, i missed those times more than anything else, i miss you calling me also, cause i know nobody else in the world is gonna call me baybe everytime on the phone. sigh. i'm crying now just to let u know while typing this, its just difficult lar wanting to say things i dont intend to say. u know that i will never forget you, forget wat we had, like u say last time le ' once u love some1, that person will be apart of u 4ever ' .
Sigh. i can't stand us being like this, u know, not being together, especially seeing u hurt this badly, im sorry baybe. i really am. haih. i wish we could continue this le baybe, and i mean that fr the btm of my heart. but i think ah jie shud also have a say in this, so i guess u know my answer baybe. u noe i do wurve u too, and that i care for u ever so much, u shud noe that of all ppl baybe. in my life, i would never meant to hurt u, never. but i hope u understand that this is also beyond me, baybe really. i know that this is difficult, cause i will nvr want this to end also. haih. baybe, u will alwis remain in me, always. and there is no doubt that u will be my one and only baybe, i hope that u will find someone out there who's better than me, cause i know at times, i can never be the one that can suit u, and please don't say that im wrong k.
i want u to be happy, much more than i am right now, and much more than being with me. i really hope that we can still kit, if u dont mind lar, cause when im old enuf next time, i wanna be sitting on my rocking chair knowing that u have been my best friend that i can alwis connect to in my life. the secrets we share, they're alwis gonna be just between u and me, i hope. cause i know for a fact, i will not tell anyone, and i mean it.
i really want u to know baybe, that i will never ever forget u no matter wat the outcome is fr this rough patch in our relationship. i will wait for ur reply. cause baybe, talk to me, even if it's just to say goodbye. and this is all fr the girl u call baybe, not anyone else, not ah jie, not anyone. <3>