eMo I Shall No More

I've been emo as of late, rarely found time for my old narcissistic self. Neither have I found time to give myself space to move, as well as room to breathe.

But now, I've realized that there's no point being emo and sad bout' the past, and start to move on. I will still feel you in my heart, but I know that you and I aren't meant to be.

"Someday we'll know why I wasn't meant for you, and someday we'll know that I was the one for you..."

Anyways, before I continue, the last 2days have been a heck of an emo period for me, and despite that, I'm feeling glad, coz' I found out there are people whom really do care about me after all. So, I'd like to thank the people whom were there for me for the past 2days.

So, thanks Elaine, for making me realize that love is blind and that I was feeling the wrong thing, and thanks Samantha, for your ever so caring sms-es everyday that tells me I shouldn't be this way and that I should just put my feelings to the past now, and thanks Jon and David, for stoning with me for the past 2days as well as consulting me bout' my feelings, and thanks Ivy for msging me despite our kinda distant friendship, and thanks Sheryl for teman-ing me today to get my hair cut as well as washing my hair for me, and last but not least, I would like to thank this person, for he has made me come to my senses and realize that if someone really does like a person, that feeling should be shown, and if that is not what happens, it's time to put it in the past and forget about it, yes you...Tay Jun Lin ! Thank you...You've made me realize that SPM is important and that relationships should be put second.

So, thank you people for sms-ing me, despite me not replying sometimes, I mean the thought that you guys and gals msged me to just see how I'm doing is always on my mind. Thanks again. =) And yeah, if I didn't mention you in the above, it doesn't mean you mean nothing to me, just that you didn't bother to care bout' me in the last 2days bout' my emo period. No hard feelings aite?



Okay, so back to the post. I've learnt this from someone mentioned above, "You have friends, they're always there, just that you never took the time to see it. But when the time comes, they will be there. And there are more people out there who really cares for you, just that they're too shy to show it".

I guess you know who you are. Anyways, thanks for telling me that. <3

And yeah, back to the main point of this post. I've realized that being sad and emo, as well as too hoping for someone and some people is just not Justin Low. I know that it'll take time to get over it till I become myself again, but I feel that I shouldn't continue being emo for things not worth for. I used to think that Amber, you were the one. But if we weren't meant to be, so I guess it was fated that way. My words may sound harsh baybe, and I'm sorry, but I've gotta move on for my own sake.

Sighs, it's just so hard to let go, but then again, when you found out the truth, it just ain't worth hurting for, especially feelings. I know now that I've wasted 2months being emo, and that my life's a complete mess and that there isn't anything else worth doing except talking about it and feel it. Sighs, I wish this stone-ness wouldn't end, coz' I like feeling stoned, but I hate being emo. =/

Complicated eh? I myself ain't sure what I'm feeling now.

At times, someone may mean the world to me, but at times, that person could be the last person I would ever wanna see or talk to. The world is a blissful place I have come to know. High school has been great, especially being in one of the best ones and being amongst the great and erhem erhem popular people for the past 4years. Perasan...Ish... =P

Yeah, I know that I'll lose touch with lotsa people when I'm in college, but then too I'll meet more people, and maybe someone who's really meant for me, as Tay said. Yeah, I will be sorry for losing touch with many of you people, and I'll surely miss it, but I'm really sorry for the fact if we aren't that close, or you're just sticking around me to just gain some attention or some sorta shit la.

Hopefully, I'll be able to survive coz' I'm gonna move to Sg. Buloh, but I mean, true friends would walk a thousand miles to see you and an asshole/bitch would tell you they'd walk a thousand miles but they'll never do that. I've been deceived by a lot of words lately. Especially during my emo period, but now I've realized that words mean nothing when you don't mean it. And woah...When someone contradicts what they say with actions hor...It makes it even more fake. I mean one day talk to me, the next day dunno me like that. Geng man the people in my life.

But I don't care, I mean it's not like you people are gonna be in my life any longer. Anyways, I'm really starting to feel much better. As like a fresh brand new start, a brand new me. And if one can play ignorant, so can I. Rofl, somehow I find myself good in that game.

Over the past years, my ignorance towards others has caused me to lose like let's say 10-11 friends? Or maybe more, lost count really. Ignorance as they say, is bliss. So, I shall trust those words to see where it takes me. Life is short, embrace it the best you can. Coz' people who enjoy the best in life don't have the best of everything, they just make the best of everything that comes along their way. So, I guess I shall make the best of what's left now.

I shouldn't be sad over things that aren't worth being sad. If people dun wanna care, so what? If people dun wanna tell me that they care, so what? If people dun really care but they act as though they care, so what? I'm moving on, and one day, I'm gonna look back at this and laugh at how childish I've been and tell my baybe then and maybe my children bout' this and we would all see what a weird person I was back then.

Never underestimate the power of words, they'll break your heart. Emotions are meant to be shown, not kept in the heart. Friendship is based on trust and care, not acting and stick-ifying yourself to someone that you would never treat as a real friend. Lies and deception are part of life, but don't let it bring you down.

Being emo is pointless, especially when you know that you're emo-ing over people who ain't gonna care for you. Never expect too much from gals, they'll kill you. =P Just some conclusions I've come to find out.

Anyways, I think this has gone far enough. It's now 9.15pm, I gotta start packing my stuff and rearranging my books. Oh yea, gotta post some stuff later on too...Anyhow, I'm moving on...

Quoted from The Mask, " Somebody stop me....!! " Blueks =P

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