Blind

I feel like writing an essay now, as in seriously. To just let out the emotions you know, sighs.
Nevermind that, anyways, everything seems screwed now. Sighs, I just don't know.

I've been stoning in class, I've been in a fucked up situation lately, at times over-emo, and at times, just like stoned and like sighs, I'm just in a screwed up life.

Then now worse still, I can't go to MLTR concert. Sighs, some kinda "open" parents I've got.
Saturday no tickets, sighs, why must all this happen to me?
Why? Zzz...

I mean, I don't know la, my parents...Sighs, they like sorta dun trust me. And my mum's been acting sorta like a nagging old lady lately. Keeps telling me what she is concerned la, but then she's never really open to accept the fact that I'm old enough to decide some things myself.

Aih, to think that a parent thinks that sleeping at 11pm is sleeping late, and that going out must strictly be back by evening, and that there's no freedom in staying overnight at friend's house unless they know the person.

Sighs, everything seems just against me, and wrong. I don't know what to do, what to feel, I talk to my friends, it calms me down, but then after that, I just feel as though I'm living lies. I don't know, maybe I'm paranoid or some what. I just feel as though like there's nothing left to stand up for. I feel meaningless, as if there's no point existing.

The times when I used to be the Justin Low, really was the good times. I had good friends, I had a great girlfriend and a best friend, and I had a great pillar to lean against, and I always always knew that there's something to stand up for. Sighs, the phrase " It is lonely at the top." really describes me right now. When the Justin Low falls apart, I realize that I ain't got friends that're really there after all.

Justin Low Ken LeonG...
Who is he? Sighs, I want to know too. Just that I feel lost, sometimes I just feel as though the person that I am now, is just someone that isn't worth being. I'm surrounded by whirlpools. The more I get involved in it, the deeper it sucks me in, and the deeper the cut in my heart gets. That's my life now. The lies, deception, the sincerity of the people around me, the honesty, their actions and their every word, they all just contradict to what I believe and what I see in them.

Yet again, it could be me being paranoid or some sort of like over-sensitive kinda guy, or maybe that's my life la. The higher you achieve in life, the harder you fall when you're going down. I can't deny that, coz' I've achieved the sweetest points of life, and now I'm really really experiencing the lowest points of life.

Sighs, what can I do? I'm blinded. Qwer, how long will I slide?
I just feel blind. Lost, and just a word that describes me nicely, from Jon who's now oth with me, an outcast. Qwer...