Alt + F4 = ?

No idea why I named this post this. Haha. Too stoned dY.

Anyways, I skipped morning assembly today, as you can see from the previous post. Then, had a really hot, and yes, REALLY REALLY HOT ! day. Stood under the heat of the sun for like 2hours doing nothing. Ish, sucks man really.

Then hor, somehow hor, today got lotsa people keep asking "dude, you're okay?" , "hey, you okay?". As in quite a lot wor. I was damn shocked man. As in seriously. Coz' never expected them to ask me wor. Hmm...Nvmz that.

Anyways, then after the whole marching thingy hor, guess what I did?

I PONTENG CLASS !

And guess what was better? I did it in front of my own class. I played football on the field for an hour with form3 kids. Yes, form 3 ! And I scored a hat-trick. Wakaka. I was really stoned then.

Then hor, I went to play squash all the way till 1.45pm. Rofl, you know what that means. End of school ! Weee...

Ponteng whole day. Haha. No mood wanna study la. As in seriously. Dunno what's wrong with me.

And then hor, have to attend the stupid gm till 3.30 or 3.50 like that. Ish, I tell you, that thing was pissing me off each second. Though, had some laughs about the nerdish prefect with Tay and David. And yeah, about Kevin dying and that cremation thingy, no offence dude. Rofl.

So, supposed to go back wan lor. But then we waited for the moment, and when it came. We, as in me, david and chee kian took our opportunity and we went to mcD to makan. David was late la, he came bout' 4.30. So being the good friends we are, me and ck waited for 30mins for him before we ordered while Andrew and Bryan makan of course.

So, after some chit-chatting, we went back at around 5.30? Yeah, around there.

So, after showering and all. Here I am. Woo... And I'm still shocked about the fact that suddenly so many people keep asking me bout' my personal stuff. Nvmz, and yeah, shoutout to Sam and Sheryl. Thx gals for teman-ing me during sch and during gm. =D

" I know, I should tell you how I feel, I wish everyone would disappear..."



================End==================

Morning Assembly

So, this was the morning assembly. Oh gosh, the sun's so glaring.



Ahhh, a much better picture with less glare. Everyone was getting into their lines and all. And yeah, why was I at such a high position to be able to make them look so tiny? Ngek ngek XD



Well, guess what. I was at the roof place thingy again. And yes, I refused to bring my blazer to school and I refused to do my duty again. So what? Sue me. I don't care. =P



My Nike bag and Reebok shoebag. Though it can't be seen here, but they are okay. Hello, I love designer branded stuff...



Darn, I was bored. Skipping assembly maybe ain't such a good idea after all, or is it?



So, I made this out of the paint off the wall. *Hearts* <3>
And this was the view of Maybank from my place. Looks so grand from here but it ain't as grand as my other house down at Masjid Jamek eh? =P



Oh no, I hear something...Aiks...


Using the camera to check who, rofl. =D


Darn, it was the lab assistant. So, I pretended to sleep. Luckily she din comment on anything.
Haha.



So, after she left...I din took any pics for a while, then I heard more footsteps...



This time it was the Bio lab assistant...Zzz....So I pretended to sleep again.



And yeah, assembly was still going on...


A much wider pic of the assembly then.



Guess what I found ? COCAINE ! Lolz...



And cigarettes, and no, I don't smoke damn it. It's just plain stupid to do so.



Woo, assembly was over ! Woots?


Haha, not so. I decided to stay longer up there. The lonely feel really damn syiok. XD



Then I heard more footsteps, so I decided to play safe this time and took out a piece of paper and a pen....


Sighs, busted again. This time it was the Physics lab assistant. Hoho, she asked me wth was I doing here. Haha.



I stayed for a while more. But that was it, coz had to go for marching at 8.30, and it was like 8 already. Haha, was up there for an hour. Geng leh? =D



And here's a pic I took after school. A guy wearing a kilt ! Yes, a kilt ! He was an ang mo, must be from Ireland or Scotland. Haha. So that was the morning assembly, tataz...

SundaY

Can anyone heal my broken heart? Erhem erhem...


Anyways, back to the daY...SundaY...Well, I woke up at 11am then headed over to the club. Really really pei I was. Then after, I went to Sheryl's for a while, coz she gonna teman me go Sunway to get myself a haircut. And when I reached there, guess what? I left my o2 phone at the club. Huhu T_T






Just an off-topic pic, my kangaroo and Monti in the small background there. Hehe...^^



Anyways, thanks Sheryl for washing my hair for me. Well, I mean you had to make up for the time you made me wait for you to get ready. Hehe. And your house damn nice, honestly. =)




So, I went back to the club to get my phone back later at about 3pm. So, then I decided to take some pics since I was alone.


To my left...




To my right...There are a few people there, but I don't know them, so I was alone la basically...Lalala...



Usually I won't be alone wan lor, but now since I'm single again...Sighs, what to do...Get stoned lor...Rofl...



And then I decided to take a pic of my shoe...Weird huh =P



Was listening to...Guess urself...Hehe ^^



Somehow I like this pic, has this cooL effect about the lightings I guess...So that was my sunday...

eMo I Shall No More

I've been emo as of late, rarely found time for my old narcissistic self. Neither have I found time to give myself space to move, as well as room to breathe.

But now, I've realized that there's no point being emo and sad bout' the past, and start to move on. I will still feel you in my heart, but I know that you and I aren't meant to be.

"Someday we'll know why I wasn't meant for you, and someday we'll know that I was the one for you..."

Anyways, before I continue, the last 2days have been a heck of an emo period for me, and despite that, I'm feeling glad, coz' I found out there are people whom really do care about me after all. So, I'd like to thank the people whom were there for me for the past 2days.

So, thanks Elaine, for making me realize that love is blind and that I was feeling the wrong thing, and thanks Samantha, for your ever so caring sms-es everyday that tells me I shouldn't be this way and that I should just put my feelings to the past now, and thanks Jon and David, for stoning with me for the past 2days as well as consulting me bout' my feelings, and thanks Ivy for msging me despite our kinda distant friendship, and thanks Sheryl for teman-ing me today to get my hair cut as well as washing my hair for me, and last but not least, I would like to thank this person, for he has made me come to my senses and realize that if someone really does like a person, that feeling should be shown, and if that is not what happens, it's time to put it in the past and forget about it, yes you...Tay Jun Lin ! Thank you...You've made me realize that SPM is important and that relationships should be put second.

So, thank you people for sms-ing me, despite me not replying sometimes, I mean the thought that you guys and gals msged me to just see how I'm doing is always on my mind. Thanks again. =) And yeah, if I didn't mention you in the above, it doesn't mean you mean nothing to me, just that you didn't bother to care bout' me in the last 2days bout' my emo period. No hard feelings aite?



Okay, so back to the post. I've learnt this from someone mentioned above, "You have friends, they're always there, just that you never took the time to see it. But when the time comes, they will be there. And there are more people out there who really cares for you, just that they're too shy to show it".

I guess you know who you are. Anyways, thanks for telling me that. <3

And yeah, back to the main point of this post. I've realized that being sad and emo, as well as too hoping for someone and some people is just not Justin Low. I know that it'll take time to get over it till I become myself again, but I feel that I shouldn't continue being emo for things not worth for. I used to think that Amber, you were the one. But if we weren't meant to be, so I guess it was fated that way. My words may sound harsh baybe, and I'm sorry, but I've gotta move on for my own sake.

Sighs, it's just so hard to let go, but then again, when you found out the truth, it just ain't worth hurting for, especially feelings. I know now that I've wasted 2months being emo, and that my life's a complete mess and that there isn't anything else worth doing except talking about it and feel it. Sighs, I wish this stone-ness wouldn't end, coz' I like feeling stoned, but I hate being emo. =/

Complicated eh? I myself ain't sure what I'm feeling now.

At times, someone may mean the world to me, but at times, that person could be the last person I would ever wanna see or talk to. The world is a blissful place I have come to know. High school has been great, especially being in one of the best ones and being amongst the great and erhem erhem popular people for the past 4years. Perasan...Ish... =P

Yeah, I know that I'll lose touch with lotsa people when I'm in college, but then too I'll meet more people, and maybe someone who's really meant for me, as Tay said. Yeah, I will be sorry for losing touch with many of you people, and I'll surely miss it, but I'm really sorry for the fact if we aren't that close, or you're just sticking around me to just gain some attention or some sorta shit la.

Hopefully, I'll be able to survive coz' I'm gonna move to Sg. Buloh, but I mean, true friends would walk a thousand miles to see you and an asshole/bitch would tell you they'd walk a thousand miles but they'll never do that. I've been deceived by a lot of words lately. Especially during my emo period, but now I've realized that words mean nothing when you don't mean it. And woah...When someone contradicts what they say with actions hor...It makes it even more fake. I mean one day talk to me, the next day dunno me like that. Geng man the people in my life.

But I don't care, I mean it's not like you people are gonna be in my life any longer. Anyways, I'm really starting to feel much better. As like a fresh brand new start, a brand new me. And if one can play ignorant, so can I. Rofl, somehow I find myself good in that game.

Over the past years, my ignorance towards others has caused me to lose like let's say 10-11 friends? Or maybe more, lost count really. Ignorance as they say, is bliss. So, I shall trust those words to see where it takes me. Life is short, embrace it the best you can. Coz' people who enjoy the best in life don't have the best of everything, they just make the best of everything that comes along their way. So, I guess I shall make the best of what's left now.

I shouldn't be sad over things that aren't worth being sad. If people dun wanna care, so what? If people dun wanna tell me that they care, so what? If people dun really care but they act as though they care, so what? I'm moving on, and one day, I'm gonna look back at this and laugh at how childish I've been and tell my baybe then and maybe my children bout' this and we would all see what a weird person I was back then.

Never underestimate the power of words, they'll break your heart. Emotions are meant to be shown, not kept in the heart. Friendship is based on trust and care, not acting and stick-ifying yourself to someone that you would never treat as a real friend. Lies and deception are part of life, but don't let it bring you down.

Being emo is pointless, especially when you know that you're emo-ing over people who ain't gonna care for you. Never expect too much from gals, they'll kill you. =P Just some conclusions I've come to find out.

Anyways, I think this has gone far enough. It's now 9.15pm, I gotta start packing my stuff and rearranging my books. Oh yea, gotta post some stuff later on too...Anyhow, I'm moving on...

Quoted from The Mask, " Somebody stop me....!! " Blueks =P

===========End=============

Birthday Much?

Well, started off pretty okay with Jon coming over to my place coz' we were going to Bernard's place later on. So, it was like 4pm when we got back. Then Jon helped talked to me bout' my problems a lil till like 5.30pm.

Thanks again for teman-ing me, whether in school or not, thanks for asking and just letting me know that I can tell you my stuff especially in school where everyone seems to be so ignorant. Anyways, so then the conflict within me just began and I'm now like caught between my feelings towards my friends.

Anyways, then David came at about 6.30 and we had to wait for Bernard who arrived so so late at 7.30 while we were in the room reading Galaxie magazines and finishing my ipod's battery. So, we left then to a place near the middle of nowhere. It was an Italian and Western restaurant.

Well, as expected, me, Jon and Dav knew we'd be given less of the so called together-ness as the "other people" were there. So, we ate then we went away from the restaurant and sat on top of stairs of a 2storey shophouse. Jon and David sang songs LOUDLY while I was stoning there reminiscing the remainders of my life while sms-ing.

All of a sudden, guess what? The POLICE came. Hohoho, what did we do?
Lolz..We ran down the stairs and we just scattered. Thankfully, the police guy didn't do anything to us and he just rode away. Qwer...

So, we headed back to Bernard's place to stayover, more or less la, but me, Jon and David were more caught up playing Pokemon cards there. Everyone else left at about 1am + or 2am I think, so there wasn't anything much la besides playing ps2 and destroying the place. So...Everyone else slept except me and David...And...Deng deng deng deng....


We played ps2 till 4:27am...But that was just PES 6...



So, we continued with... TIME CRISIS 3 ! Lolz...



But we only played till the 2nd stage then we found it kinda boring...So, we changed games...



Jon was already sleeping by then, and here is clear proof of it...Though, kinda blurry and dark =/



And then we played till...7:26 am !




The sky was already bright...Omg...Haha...



By then, David couldn't tahan and he slept...Lolz... So I was alone again..


And yea...This was the sky when it was 4:26am...Kinda bright huh? Weirds...

One Night at Hartamas

Well, it started off nicely when we headed to Hartamas Shopping Complex at about 12am. Next, as we were walking, David, Jon and I stumbled upon this bus stop thingy. And guess what did David do?



Bang ! Bing ! Boom ! The whole thing was dented. Lolz...Jon also added some spices of his own as I captured them on phone.


David and Jon in the middle of the road. Haha.



To their left.



To their right.



And then they found a trolley and started to chill on it. Rofl.



Then suddenly, they had this crazy idea....



To push each other and bang the trolley against a mini-wall. Lolz...



And then they pushed the trolley down the slopes...



Jon in action pushing the trolley. Wakaka...Caught red-handed...


Lolz...Sick time it was, really sick, even the people around us were thinking that we're high on caffeine or what, well I mean I was laughing the most while Dav and Jon did all the action. Rofl, never knew being cameraman to such idiocy would be much fun. =D

Friday the 6th

Well, firstly I went to school in the mornings then wrote a couple of poems to fill in my time in the ava room. Lalala... Thank me david, I wanna hear it again. Haha.

Anyways, then had this stupid morning rehearsal which basically pissed me off a lot, coz' we were like standing in the sun for so damn long. But nvms, so I just beared with it then till recess when I was listening to my ipod then came a few other prefects telling me not to listen, and okay la, that was it.

I couldn't just have that moment of peace for myself, so nvm, wanted to go to the roof there again to chill out and clear my mind, then had to discuss with Bernard bout' his birthday thingy. After some babbling, I went to the roof for bout 45minutes there with few others, sighs, disturbing really.

No offence la, but I just wanted to be alone la. Coz' nobody else shares what I'm going through, so no point you go there with me. Sighs, really difficult to find myself out of this shit.
So, I had a talk with tay to ask him how to get rid of all my problems la. Well, the advice may not be that bad, but it'll certainly be like a very drastic change to me.

He advised me to limit myself to online about 2-3hours a day, and to clear all my stuff and arrange them in order. But the most of all he said, dun ever talk to gals! Woo...Rofl, he said they'll manipulate your feelings and stuff like that. And that they'll cause a distraction and make you feel even more lost.

I dunno what I should do, but I know I need to score well in my trials. Sighs, if tay is right, then I'm sorry to myself and everyone else about me for what I'm about to do. My ignorance and the distant-relation to the people I'm close with may hurt you, but it'll certainly hurt me a lot more. Tay, I heed your advice and I shall accept it. I shall not msg continuously or call for any longer than 5 minutes from now. Your guidance and your teachings are very much what I need right now for me to be pure like you. Ngek ngek.

Sighs, anyways, back to the story of friday the 6th, after that we went to mcD after sch to just chill out la. Me and jon had our emo session again, and he claims that I should forget about the people around me. Be true to myself, and that ignore the people whom cares for nth wor. I also dunno...Updates on bernard's weird birthday later on...ciaoz..

Blind

I feel like writing an essay now, as in seriously. To just let out the emotions you know, sighs.
Nevermind that, anyways, everything seems screwed now. Sighs, I just don't know.

I've been stoning in class, I've been in a fucked up situation lately, at times over-emo, and at times, just like stoned and like sighs, I'm just in a screwed up life.

Then now worse still, I can't go to MLTR concert. Sighs, some kinda "open" parents I've got.
Saturday no tickets, sighs, why must all this happen to me?
Why? Zzz...

I mean, I don't know la, my parents...Sighs, they like sorta dun trust me. And my mum's been acting sorta like a nagging old lady lately. Keeps telling me what she is concerned la, but then she's never really open to accept the fact that I'm old enough to decide some things myself.

Aih, to think that a parent thinks that sleeping at 11pm is sleeping late, and that going out must strictly be back by evening, and that there's no freedom in staying overnight at friend's house unless they know the person.

Sighs, everything seems just against me, and wrong. I don't know what to do, what to feel, I talk to my friends, it calms me down, but then after that, I just feel as though I'm living lies. I don't know, maybe I'm paranoid or some what. I just feel as though like there's nothing left to stand up for. I feel meaningless, as if there's no point existing.

The times when I used to be the Justin Low, really was the good times. I had good friends, I had a great girlfriend and a best friend, and I had a great pillar to lean against, and I always always knew that there's something to stand up for. Sighs, the phrase " It is lonely at the top." really describes me right now. When the Justin Low falls apart, I realize that I ain't got friends that're really there after all.

Justin Low Ken LeonG...
Who is he? Sighs, I want to know too. Just that I feel lost, sometimes I just feel as though the person that I am now, is just someone that isn't worth being. I'm surrounded by whirlpools. The more I get involved in it, the deeper it sucks me in, and the deeper the cut in my heart gets. That's my life now. The lies, deception, the sincerity of the people around me, the honesty, their actions and their every word, they all just contradict to what I believe and what I see in them.

Yet again, it could be me being paranoid or some sort of like over-sensitive kinda guy, or maybe that's my life la. The higher you achieve in life, the harder you fall when you're going down. I can't deny that, coz' I've achieved the sweetest points of life, and now I'm really really experiencing the lowest points of life.

Sighs, what can I do? I'm blinded. Qwer, how long will I slide?
I just feel blind. Lost, and just a word that describes me nicely, from Jon who's now oth with me, an outcast. Qwer...

School ?

Okay, so was at school today...Well not really la to be exact, I spent most of my time outside class at the above spot. It's really fun you know, to be alone there, where nobody sees you and like you get to enjoy listening to songs on your iPod. =D





And this is me, sitting there stoning for bout' an hour or so.



To my left....



To my right...
Lalala...Goo Goo Dolls' Iris really rocks my world..Well, as in it just..Arrgh...You get the point...




And this is what happens in moral class. Budak - budak bermoral of course taking pictures of teacher and the tidak bermoral students. Wakaka....



And this is where I sit on the floor in class to avoid teacher seeing me listen to songs and catch me to read the text book etc etc...haha...



Me, unwinding myself...Relaxing...Whatever..



Meet my floor buddy, Ho Khoon Yoong ! Wee...



And then, the other students thought it was cool, so they sat on the floor too....Hahaha...



Sorry I din rotate the picture, but anyways, the brains at work...



And this is me, snapping a picture of est teacher while she scolds Suren..Lalala...



I just don't know what's school now...This is what I do everyday...Go to my hideout, stone while listening to my iPod, lepak on the floor, make excuses to get out of class to chill at the roof or something, and yeah, last but not least, drown myself with empty thoughts.

Sighs...Can someone tell me what's wrong with me?