Kenz-

Okay people. I'm switching to a new blog. The new address is http://kenzyxvw.blogdrive.com/ .
This blog shall rest in peace as of today. Ciao.

Kenz-

I've always wanted to do this post since way way back then, when I thought I knew its meaning. But I guess there's still a lot to learn, but yeah, I'll share a thought or two on it, as what I have come to know and observe in life.

Yeah, so if you have about 15-20 minutes to kill then you can go on reading, if not I suggest scrolling your mouse to the top right hand corner and click that red 'X' button there. :)

So yeah, how do you define love? An act of compassion? A passionate feeling you have for someone? Or that little tingly feeling you have inside you when you see that certain someone? Or the feeling of getting somebody to like you or liking somebody? Or maybe that force of attraction you have towards that someone because of him/her?

I believe it's up to everyone as to how they would want to interpret love. But yeah, my interpretation is that love is...

Okay, only the girlfriend gets to read that, heh. :)

Anyways, I think that every relationship has its own recipe to everlasting love. Yeah, its unique and special, that's why every relationship is different I guess. Sometimes you don't get it perfect, but that's where you learn from it. Sometimes you do get it right, and that's when you won't let go and you'll live on that way happily for the rest of your life. :)

I think that people are generally afraid of relationships. For love and during love, that's when you see the true colours of each person. It is that very fact that shows that person's true personality, who he/she really is. Yeah, it's funny, but it's true.

There is no limit as to where would one go for love and relationships. Everyone fears rejection, or to put it in other words, the fear of facing the fact of an unrequited (not repaid) love. Yeah, it's like the total opposite of unconditional love. Everyone doesn't like the fact of unrequited love, it's like trying to clap with one hand. No fun in that, no?

So yeah, that's when you get to see people that live their lives without getting their hopes high, or like deceiving themselves that they don't expect anything out of love. You know, the same old phrase that "No hopes, no expectations, means no disappointment and no pain". Yeah, that same excuse time and time again. These are the people that fear love, hence they usually don't get repaid with it. Even if they do, they don't usually end up sustaining it. Why? Because fearing love is something that is wrong, something which isn't supposed to exist within oneself.

I mean if you fear love so much, why even fall in love in the first place right? Dare to love, embrace love for what it is. If you suffer a fall from it, get back up. Because the reason why we fall is to learn how to pick ourselves up. :)

Then there are those which want love but totally do not want love. Sounds confusing? Yeah, these are the ones that take time to understand, but all in all, they're pretty easy to figure out. They'll live life alone not wanting to know whether the grass is greener on the other side as they perceive that it is not. Hence, they'll only take a look at it if they're given some insurance or something like that. They dare not take the step forward to embrace love neither do they take a step back to deny love.

Yeah, they may have fallen in love once or twice but then they'll go on not wanting to accept love unless they are sure it will not wind up being like the previous time(s). Yeah, they wouldn't want to start off at square one again I'm pretty sure, but who would want to? But then again, we make mistakes in life and that's where we move on I guess.

Now I'll move on to those who doesn't really want love but needs love. You know, the ones who don't really care for what love is all about but instead just needs to know what it feels like, what it tastes like to be in love. Or so they think they are "in love". But heck, it's everyone's own interpretation to what love is I guess. Yeah, so they'll be kind of needy and not hesitant at all as to find out what love is all about but only if they find people they're interested in, and not vice versa where they're not interested in that person.

Yeah, then there are the ones that just want love as to fit in or to show that they too can fall in love. This is what I call naive and well, a little mix of stupidity and blindness. Yeah, that's how I define it, sue me if you want. Anyways, they'll be like very in need of somebody to love them and they'll practically just fall for anyone they'd know who gets a little too close for comfort kind of situation with them. They'd sometimes misunderstand acts of kindness and compassion as that someone being interested in them.

Yeah, so they'd just fall for people who would fall for them and not really get the whole idea of affection I guess. But what the heck. They try to be in love, but when the idea of actually being in love for the long run, I really don't know what's gonna happen.

Then there are the really patient ones. Those who believe in love, has their hopes high, has faith in the perfect/dream girl/guy etc. Yeah, they stay faithful to love, in hope that one day their soul searching would come to an end. These are those that I guess understand the meaning of passionate affection and believe love is something real and genuine. Nothing much to add here, as I guess they do know that eventually someone will come by knocking on their door to deliver him/herself to them. :)

And then there are those that don't really know what love is, but know what love is. You know, the time where you were still living your own life without any worries and any care for anyone else and then suddenly you bump into someone and then it all begins. Haha. Yeah, these are those that want love but only I guess if it shows up at the right place at the right time. But then again, that's how everyone falls in love I guess, by chance.

So yeah, there's still about two to three more (of course I wouldn't write which am I in this post, hahaha, not that dumb okay!) that I know of but I'd stop here as this has gone long enough. I assume this applies for both guys and girls (a bit vague on the girl part though). But hey, assume-ing is never good. Yes, assume-ing not assuming. Why? Because making an assumption = Making an ASS out of U and ME. (ASS-U-ME = ASSUME!) Haha. That teaching is from Mrs. Ng by the way. :)

So go on now, go figure out love. Be daring to love, embrace love, feel love, and love love. Heh. Remember, never hate the person, hate love. :)

Kenz-

I need to exercise! Sniffles.

It's been way too long since I last played futsal. Not good okay. At least kicking footie around the house isn't too bad, but yeah I need to play futsal people! My goal tally of 147 or is it 138 goals in 21 games needs to carry on! Grr.

Man, I wonder if those people from the Monash soccer team or whatever are still playing. At least they managed to put in a bit of fight. The others, well let's just say that I'm too young for them.

Anyone up for futsal? =D

Kenz-

Sorry people, didn't really had a post in September. Anyways, I guess reviving the blog every once in a while isn't a tad bit too bad. So yeah, just a few short updates I guess?

Baby is currently in Sydney, and there's still another four days before she comes back. I'm missing her like hell now but at least I've managed to discover the art of cartoon-making. Yes. Haha.

I'm on holiday now and my finals are in a couple of weeks. This is not good. Holiday = forgetting everything that I've learnt in the whole year. Sniffles.

I've definitely flopped my entire trials, which is not good once the parents finds out. Uggh. Hmm, on a side note, at least the girlfriend did pretty good I think. So yeah, at least my hardwork in making her study did pay off after all. =D

Birthday weekend is coming up, cartoon-making is beginning to take shape, busy busy busy. Pfft.

I guess some people have troubles of letting go of the past, some still live in it. They just don't know how to move on, how to let go. No matter, they'll know soon enough that life is about what is now, not the future, not the past.

Yeah, just because they didn't really have things go for them in the past, they think they'd make their lives better by making a fool out of themselves to critique the path that they could never have had. You know, like the "Yeah la, luckily I didn't go with that bla bla bla" kind of thing.

So yeah, just because you didn't have a chance at it doesn't mean that life on the other side isn't greener than your side. It means that you just couldn't deal with the fact that you've never gotten a chance to look at life on both sides. Such losers and imbeciles, har har.

Yeah, so take a look in the mirror and ask yourself, "Who am I today?". You won't know what comes tomorrow, coz' even if you've planned everything right, all it takes is one thing to screw up the system and chaos is upon you. Watch The Dark Knight and listen to what Joker says to Harvey Dent in the hospital, totally makes sense okay.

Okay, short update just went a little too far. Haha. Oh well. Till the next time, toodles.

Ken



"If there is someone who could make me smile more, it would be you. If there is someone who could make me happier, it would be you. If there is someone who could make me forget about all my worries, it would be you. If there is someone who could catch me when I fall, it would be you. And if there's someone that I can only love, it would be you." - Pigil²

Baby and I went Fish Spa today at Kenko, Pavilion :D Hehe. The fishes really got much fatter and BIGGER since the last time I went. Damn scary!

We were screaming and biting our towels cause it was so geli and kinda painful too! Haha, we had to force each other's legs into the water cause we kept freaking out :p So jakun, I know :D Hehe. And the boyfriend is lucky to have me sitting next to him, cause all the big big fishes came to me instead of him :(

But I want to go again! :D Though I doubt baby will teman me again :p His reaction was really funny. So cutee <3 He thought he was going to die okay. Haha.

Sigh, since this blog is like dying, I shall post up some pictures of our interesting fish spa experience :p Goes to show how lazy the owner of this blog is, hehe.

Look at the difference!! Ahhhh, imagine having SO many fishes biting you :(


Look at the piggg! Lol. As if someone was going to kill him like that okay :p Ish.

Oh, and we attempted horror movie today :D The Strangers. I think I only watched three quarters of the movie. The other quarter I was hiding behind baby's hands :D Haha, SCARY okay!

I think I should stop blogging here too and let the blog decompose together with Sesame. Haha :D

Toodles :)

It definitely feels like I own this blog now since the boyfriend decided to abandon this faithful emo blog of his. So sesamisedly evil =p

Baby lost his mp3 in college on Thursday :( :( Argh, I think it must have been some M who took it, must be. Taylors should ban them la, seriously =S

Anyways, we went Mid Valley yesterday rather early in the morning. Haha, I had to wake the pig up at 8 something and as usual I had to force him to wake up despite him manja-ing with his "A while more", "5 more minutes?" and "3 minutes more, please?" <33

Watched him played CS for some WCG thingy sponsored by Nuffnang, I think? :D Sorry la, I'm not exactly very cyber-gamed yet okay, although my boyfriend is a CS and Dota pro. So as usual, I was fascinated (very jakunly) by their speed and accuracy in the game. I'm a slow person okay, don't blame me. :D

Then then then, yay! I conned him into buying some stuff :D For himself la, not me. Hehe. I'm so happy :) Had lunch at Madam Kwan's, and he paid for lunch AGAIN. Sobs :( Then we wanted to watch movie, but the queue in Mid Valley was so damn long and packed with his favourite race, the M's :D So we decided to head to Signature GSC.

We went back to his place before the movie since we had three hours. Visited the Evil Sesame, watched Olympics, and got freaked out by his naughty dog, Benji :D Haha. Signature GSC is really comfy by the way :D And The Mummy was kinda scary, too many chopping off heads scenes. Twinkles was so naughty okay, he kept covering my eyes. Hehe. Okay la, more like I didn't wanna watch the gross scenes :D :D

18.8.08

Hehe, so the boyfriend and I didn't choose a wrong day to be together <3

Nice number okay :D

Skittles is now four months old! :) Twinkles is three, and baby Starry is still two months old :)

Happy four months darling.

Much love <33

Ken

Yes, the blog is dying. Heh. The visitor count has decreased well, almost to single digits. Yays. No more updates for the month from me. Toodles people. ;D

It feels like I own this blog now. Cause the owner of this blog is a real Pig-Il-² who can't seem to stay awake every night after dinner. Haha, so yeah.

He tried conning me today, okay fine, he did con me for like 2 minutes into thinking he was kidnapped/mugged by a M.

What happened was.. when he told me he was going to walk, walk okay, walk! to Leisure Mall, I kinda freaked out. Haha, yes la, I know it's right opposite his house, but there are a lot of weird people loafing around there somehow. And plus! A lot of that race there okay!

So I messaged him to check if he was still alive, haha, as in literally.

And he replied, "Ko ni sape?"

I was.. stoned? Haha. Worried, of course, but really stoned. So many possibilities ran through my mind, the possibility that he really got kidnapped cause he really has the "I am rich, come rob me" face okay. But I thought of the possibility that he was conning me as well la, as usual :p See, I ain't that blur okay :p

So yes, my lazy Pigil² boyfriend finds joy in making me worried by acting as a M! Hmphhhh, I so don't like you :p

But you know I love you <3

I am here to un-emofy this blog, yeah, you all know how emo this blog is right? ;p Haha.

And as well as to keep this blog alive! :D Haha, yes yes, you people reading this should thank me for updating this lazy bum's blog for you all who read his blog to cure your boredom :D

We created a blog for Twinkles, Skittles, Starry, Sesame and Street! :) :) Haha, we're pretty good at giving names now, from Silly Tilly to Street to Skittles, Twinkles and Starry :)

Yes, I am the sesamised girlfriend :D

And the boyfriend is bullying me at this exact moment, hmph.

It's not funny okay!!!! :( Poke you ahhhh. Heh.

Okay okay, buhbyes! :) Yeah la, I know this post damn random. Heh, expect more random posts from me! :D I am supposed to keep this dying blog alive anyway, :D

Ken

I guess I'm pretty much quite a selfish and self-centered person at times.

I'm pretty oblivious to the people around me, with a few exceptions of course like the girlfriend, Twinkles, Skittles, Starry and Sesame.

Though I kind of know what people are going through and what's happening, that's how far I'd go in terms of relating myself with people.

Yeah, I pretty much am the person that everyone would think "Oh it's Justin, there's like already so many people in his life to talk to, why bother". I think I get that quite a lot, heh. Not that I'm complaining, I'm pretty much more than happy that most if not everyone I know thinks that way by now. No sarcasm intended here by the way, I'm dead serious.

So yeah, call me self-centered, I don't mind. Because I don't really give a damn on what people think about me. To me, and most importantly to the people I care about as mentioned above, and to include my family of course, I am me, myself and I. Nobody else. Just the same old Justin Low Ken Leong.

If you, or anyone else have whatever reason to doubt that I am a failure in life, then please by all means go ahead and think that way. I love proving people wrong anyway.

So yeah, being self-centered isn't too bad a thing sometimes. You don't have people pestering you, neither do you have so much things to worry about. Because yeah, at the end of the day, everyone else only means that much to you. Call me insensitive, and I'll call you an angel. Toodles.

Ken

To the girl that makes my every day that tad bit sweeter than it was yesterday. <3

The girl that puts a smile on my face with each glance I lay on her, including the silly ones. Hehe. <3

The girl that keeps me warm when I'm cold by sandbag-ing me. <3

The girl that keeps me close when I need someone to hold me, and squish me. <3

The girl that claims that she eats a lot by flattening her rice and then eating less than half of it. I have to finish the rest of course. Piggle. <3

The girl that makes sure that I'm done with my work and then heads to bed as well as saves me when my printer goes haywire. <3

The girl that stays awake every night to make sure that I'm asleep. <3

The girl that manja me back when I manja her. <3

The girl that constantly pokes me whenever I play with my hair and calling that black thing brain juice. <3

The girl that wakes me up to make sure I study on the eve of every test. <3

The girl that makes sure I'm never late for the things I do if it means waking up early in the morning. <3

The girl that makes me decide on things (and discriminate my decisions!) and claims that she has mastered the skill of deciding, hence I am on probation and have to decide. <3

The girl that makes me copy things in class by asking me to copy for her, in which she will copy for me (so con okay, haha). <3

The girl that does the silliest of things sometimes like throwing paper down from three floors high and screaming "Black cat!" when we were like in the middle of nowhere at night. <3

The girl that cannot multitask when doing many things like talking on the phone and walking down the stairs. <3

The girl that makes sure I drink water everyday, hmm more like the other way round, but yeah. <3

The girl that always tells me "Nothing la" when it's never nothing. <3

The girl that thinks that my driving is dangerous and could be the cause of my death. <3

The girl that experiences the weirdest and silliest of dreams every now and then. <3

The girl that always has rubbish on her mind in thinking that one day that will happen. <3

The girl that thinks that me being like Po is not a bad thing. <3

The girl that says "We must budget" and the next day we're at Haagen Dazs. Heh. <3

The girl that claims that I am more stubborn than she is, which I of course am not. <3

The girl that thinks Sesame is retarded and on the verge of decomposing. <3

The girl that calls Twinkles a smelly pigbear and Skittles is her baby, and Starry is her darling *jealous okay!*. <3

The girl that bans me from Coke because it is bad, as well as coming up with the word "Coke feeling" which is reflux of the stomach, as well as many other "feelingS". <3

The girl that thinks that me paying for most of things is a bad thing, which of course it isn't. <3

Okay, I can go on and on till I don't know when about this. Like how she claims I don't hug her when I do every day, and how she would ease the pain on my shoulders when the nerves on my shoulders are all jumbled up, and how she would go on and ask me that question some eleven times a day, etc etc. Heh. <3

I love you. <33

Ken

My mind's constantly filled with thoughts no matter what I do. Oh well, it can't really be that bad a thing, no?

I think Leona Lewis is one hell of a performer on stage. She makes songs sound so like how they record them in the studios.

I think I'll be okay for Maths tomorrow, hopefully. I feel very awake, though the clock says it is 12:34 am now.

Hmm, August is always that time of the year. Yeah, you know, that time. Actually, I don't even know what I'm talking about.

I've managed to convince my mum that I ain't doing too bad for my course, I mean almost perfect ESL assignments, decent Physics and Maths assignments, and pretty good Chemistry practicals, I guess that can't be a bad thing. Put aside all my horrible common test results of course.

I mean wth la, common test. So damn rubbish. If wanna test, test the whole damn thing la, test like that can die okay. It's like in high school where they have all the small tests, where I'd usually flop them all coz' they don't really emphasize on how the final exam is really done. So yeah, knowing me, I don't really care about the battle, only the war. Sniffles.

I've been updating too frequently. My blog visitors are not going down as quickly as I thought it would. So, this shall be the last post in a long long time. Heh. Toodles.

Ken

It would be rather rude if I didn't end the month without a post, and since it's been quite some time since I visited my own blog, I guess I should leave something here anyhow.

So yeah, the girlfriend and I went to Pyramid today in hope for Baskin Robins, but then, we were craving for some enriched chocolate for Haagen Dazs. So...As we walked to BR, we saw the queue to be rather long, so we decided to go to Haagen Dazs instead. Oh well, I hate waiting okay, so yeah, pretty much explains why we didn't get in line to buy some back when we visited BR again after Haagen Dazs-ing.

Yes, Haagen Dazs-ing. It's a word now. Heh.

I've got my ESL assessment to do. This is bad. We have 3days to do it, but I pretty much stoned in class for two days, and I guess I'm the only one with a blank sheet of paper. Hmm.

We shall see, hopefully I'll be able to get it done in 45minutes.

I'm a little lazy to layan my chatterbox, so yeah, sorry people. (:

Ken

I seem to have very unstable emotions these days. Seems like sleeping manages to help me chuck them aside for the moment, until when I wake up where everything comes back and starts to mess with my thoughts again.

My mind always has the weirdest of thoughts whenever I shouldn't need it to think. But I guess I've grown to gotten used to it.

The blog shall be on random hiatus as of now. I need to sleep. Toodles.

Ken

I've always had that feeling. But it seems now, more than ever. I hate that feeling. But yeah, it's not within me to control that feeling.

I don't know what I've done wrong, neither do I know what is wrong, or what is going on. It's like all of a sudden there's this fog that has come and blurred everything. Worst part is, I don't even know what will happen once the fog is gone.

That feeling is here again. I need to seek my soft toys for comfort.

Ken

I've always got the feeling that there are a lot of "Don't tell Justin" things going on. I don't know why. As well as the fact that there are a lot of things that's happening which I do not know of until yeah, it hits me, and hits me hard. Oh well. One of the reasons why we fall is to learn to pick ourselves up anyway.

Went for ICCG DotA today. Got ousted out in the last sixteen. Wasn't too bad, first game was pretty much a pub stomp. Second needless to say we were outplayed due to the lack of wards. Gratz to DNA (despite their imba combo of w4si, mKvL and DNA-SK, haxxors pfft, and for stealing our game one strategy!) at the end for winning.

I've spent almost 12hours outside of home. I'm exhausted. I need rest. Hopefully without much thought on the things of which I shouldn't know of but I think I know, but might not be, but possibly and probably might be, or could not be.

Ken

The pathway was nothing but a small hollow passage linking the rooms on the second floor. Dimmed it was, nothing but a flickering faulty light bulb was what helped give light to the dark, stretchy, and silent corridor. The cracks on the floor allowed screeching noises to enter the ears of those who stroll along its path.

Emily returned back to her home a couple of hours earlier than she usually does. It was the 27th, it was a special day, it was their day. So, she left her bag and coat in her green, messy old car and quickly rushed into the house in hope to catch her husband off guard. She was thrilled, she was exhilarated, she was in love, again. She stumbled onto a small crack along the pavements, but much to her luck, she landed onto a foliage of leaves.

She opened the front door surreptitiously, and silent monotonous footsteps followed. She was holding a box of cake on one hand, and a bundle of flowers on the other. She maneuvered her way through the kitchen and handled the utensils gingerly whilst slicing the cake into fourteen separate pieces, in which each represents every year of her unconditional love towards him.

The sun was beginning to set, and the darkness of the night was already starting to engulf what was the bright vivid evening blue sky. Emily was endowed with tender hands, and knowing that, she worked her way with the cake without much of a hassle. She then proceeded up the stairs, onto the corridor. As she strolled along the corridor with her nimble feet, she can't help but worry that her husband might hear the sharp screeching sounds of the floor cracks.

None the less, Emily neglected them and could not care less. She was captivated with the love and the bond they have shared all these years, and nothing has ever hindered her from showing her undying love for her husband, despite the bashful character that she often portrays. Although she took feeble and small steps, she couldn't help but worry about the rowdy sounds that the floor cracks were making. Every step, seemed like a step to run away from all the troubles and worries she had, every step, to her, was a step closer, to celestial heaven.

As she reached the end of the hallway, she unlocked the door with thought that her husband should be taking a nap as he did not notice the cracking sounds outside of the room. She was about to burst in, full of passion and enthusiasm. However, her joy and her happiness was abruptly put to a standstill. At first sight, she could not comprehend the situation in which she saw her husband in. She could not, in her right mind, figure out what she has fallen into, neither could she have foreseen this erroneous act of indiscretion from the man she loved with all her heart.

However, she remained nonchalant. She stood firm glancing at a sight which did not appease her one very bit. Thoughts about their day, vanquished into thin air in a matter of seconds. Her man was in a state of disbelief, and he had nothing left to say to explain his predicament with another woman under the sheets of the bed. He could not conceal whatever that needs to be hidden, he could not explain what needs to be told. He was pretty much dead the moment he laid his eyes on his wife.

The darkness of the night has took its place among the sky and all there is to look up at, the moon and the stars has begun to shine incandescently, but only looking like tiny dots as seen from where everyone had their feet on. Emily dropped the cake on the floor, the bundle of flowers she then just threw at the wooden brown wall behind her, and she slammed the door and left the scene immediately. She could not believe the sight that she had just beheld. Her mind was filled with intricacy far beyond what anyone could ever jumble up their thoughts with.

She ran, and ran, and ran as far as she could from the house. Her feelings were feeble, but her pace was indubitably robust as she burst through the park without much care for the people around her. She found a soft spot among the grasses, and laid there, consolidating herself.

"Fourteen, fourteen damned years", were the only words Emily could have mustered with tears rolling down her cheeks.

She laid there, sobbing, in need of comfort, in need of care and affection, but most of all, in need of love. She could not believe all this while, she was living a lie, a mere hoax with a man that not only did not contribute in maintaining the financial difficulties that they had, but also a man who was seeing someone else behind her back while she was at work. Emily did not need an explanation from him, despite his constant calls while she was at the park. She didn't need one, and she never would, because her feelings were as good as crushed. And her heart, was as good as tarnished.

After a couple of hours at the park, Emily still could not relish the fact of what has just happened. She took a short walk around the park after deciding that she would not return home anymore. She needed to get some air, and needed to clear her mind of the obscurity of the situation she was in. She then sat down next to the fountain, looking at her own reflection in the water, pondering upon what has she done to have deserved this. As she closed her eyes for a moment and opened them, she saw a familiar face. And she knew, she was again, in love.

Ken

The girlfriend introduced me to something interesting just a moment ago.

S.O.A.

Made me laugh for about 45 minutes. Geez. Hahaha. What's S.O.A. ? Go to YouTube then you'll know. =D

Ken

It feels like a Friday, but it isn't. I'd wish that it was, then I could get my much needed rest on the weekends again.

I feel like writing more than ever now. But then ESL has not been treating me good with the silly and nonsensical essays that needs to be written. Sniffles.

No bother, I should get started anyways. I need music. Tata.