31/5 (2)

Wee...Just finished showering...
What a day...Well, sorry...I meant what a time playin' futsal...
Muahaha...When I said I rock at futsal, I really meant what I said.

Scored 15today...New record. Woots~! XD
Somemore that's just in an hour. Ngek ngek...
Really ta pau-ed the other team big time...The score was like 26-8 or something. Haha.

Omg..Now sienz again. Zzzz....
Anyways, had dinner at a bak kut teh place. Nice place to eat, nearby Taylor's there.
Though, yet again, I didn't eat much, sadly. =(

But nvm, scoring 15 is already good enough. Haha, playing again tomorrow.
Darn, got tuition tmr morning. Sienz man really, sighs.

Guess that's all for tonite la...Tata...


========================End===================================

31/5

Qwer, goin' for futsal soon. So I guess I'll just update on my day currently...
So far, kinda boring lor...Sitting at home...Sighs...
Think I'll be able to survive la. Lalala...
Darn, didn't do much today man...Am like so wtf now...

Zzz... Sienz man really...OMG...I'M SO LAME~!
Wtf is goin on'.
Gosh, really pathetic...Haha...
Darn, what to do...Spidey also can't finish dl like that...Sighs...

Anyway, hoping to score 8 today to put my average goals beyond doubt that it is 7~!
Lalala...Say whatever you want, but I rock at futsal...Muahaha...Ciaoz..

======================End==========================

Boring~nes, lalala =P

Sienz-nya. Nth to do really so I come here. Haha.
Anyways, I've really got nth to do, " watching " Spidey3 later or maybe tmr. Qwer, lalala.

Darn, dun even noe what to say here. HOhoho, boring la.
Sighs, still can't forget. But nvm, darn. Haihz =/

Oh yea, if you're trying to contact me, then msg me on MSN coz it's okay now or through my second number ya. Lalala....Sienz...
Ish...What can I do now? Omfg...really sienz...
Be back later...Go to my room listen to songs now...Ciaoz...

" Let the music heal your soul..."


===================End=============================

My MSN Status

For you who haven't noticed, my MSN status is currently not accepting messages.
Therefore, if you happen to message me, you should encounter this message :

Auto-Message : I'm currently refusing messages on MSN. I won't be able to read your current message here, therefore I might not be able to reply. If you wish to contact me, please do so via my handphone. Sorry for the inconvenience caused. Have a nice day.

If you did not, then I'm sorry for the inconvenience caused.
As of tomorrow, I will not be refusing messages anymore. Thanks, and yet again, sorry if I didn't reply coz' this auto-message thingy doesn't seem to function properly.

ThoughTs oF A BroKeN HearT

A : How are you? / Are you okay?
B : I'm fine / I'm okay


Have you ever wondered?
Whether the person you are asking is really okay or not?
I mean seriously. Is that person really okay inside? =/

Why do people respond "I'm okay" , " Yes, I'm fine" when they're not?
Sighs. I too want to know.
I say that often too, yet I don't know why.

Maybe I just don't want people to worry about me, maybe I'm still not ready to let anyone in (besides erhem erhem), maybe I'm just paranoid. I don't know myself. Sighs.

Have you wondered why, I mean honestly. Sometimes you can tell that person is not okay, yet he/she responds back "I'm fine". How do you feel?

Darn, I've no idea what I'm talking. Truth be told, I'm not okay. Well, right now la ='(
Not sure how I'll put up later on, hopefully a lot better than what I am now. Qwer...
Well, these are just thoughts of a broken heart. Rofl...Wtfz am I talkin'. Darn. Nvm.


==================End=============================

30/5

Another sienz day...Sitting at home...Doin' nothing...
Just finished 2games of DotA...Qwer...No challenge from opponents...Sighs...
Really boring nowadays...Wanna go out also not much mood...Coz' I'll be thinking of the fucked up stuff that's happening..

Darn...Later got tuition somemore...Sienz~!!!!!
Zzz... Dunno what to do now...Qwer...
Can't use my MSN also...Damn it...Lol..

Hmm...Let me sum up the day before I ciao..

9am : Woke up then watched TV
10am : Still watching TV
10.30am : Ate my breakfast
11am : Watch TV
12pm : Went online
1pm: Watch TV
2pm : DotA~!
4pm : Surf the net and chat a bit using Topaz
5pm : That's now..Weee...Boring-ness...

Oh yea...My handphone's currently not available too...Lazy wanna reply messages...Sighs...
Okay..That's about it for now...Ttfn =/

Oooppsss...Forgot to add the End part and to quote something..Hmm...What to quote..

"High school isn't about being popular, cool or different. Coz' when it's over, the most important thing isn't about those stuff, it's about who remembers you. And I know I've been a jerk lately with my MSN blocking messages thingy but whoever that reads this, I certainly want you to remember me. So, thank you =) "


Edit : Using my second number btw....First number ain't available...So you know what to do...

=====================End============================

29/5 (2)

Well, this is a continuation of the first part...Sighs...
What a lonely night...But nvm...Gotta get used to this shit sooner or later...
Again...Had no appetite for dinner...Ate a small plate of rice and a piece of tau foo and a piece of chicken...

Screw this shit la...Zzz...
The sien-ness is killing me...This feeling is killing me...Aihs..
But whatever la...Hoping for a better tomorrow =/

===================End===========================

29/5

Everyday that seems to go by feels like an eternity...Sighs...
Had very lil sleep last nite..Considering coming home after eating at bout 2+...
Darn =/
To add to that, waking up at 9 doesn't really help...Sighs..

Anyways, today was kinda a rough day thus far...
Had to drag myself to futsal ( damn you Tay ) but it was enjoyable =)
Hehe...At least I got to keep my mind off all the suckiness of my life for about more or less 3hours...
Then headed to lunch, and yet again...I had no appetite to eat...Sighs...Something's really wrong..Hadn't touched a meal since yest and yet I can't eat =/

Reached home and then I'm like so darn tired...And now have to think bout' watching Spidey 3...Zzz...
Cinemas also screening few times a day only...Sigh...Dunno can watch or not..
Lonely...Lonely...Lonely...Qwer =/
Why'd you have to go at the time I need you the most...Sighs...

Missing the times where I needed your call to be sure that I'm alright..
Missing the times where I needed to hear your voice to enlighten me and brighten up my day...

Weee....I'm practically retarded now..Lol...In some sort of way =/

" If you wanna know, I don't wanna let go...So say it isn't so..."

Not sure how tonite will be but luckily I'm not having tuition...Hehe...
So I guess that's the only positive note today =)
Oh yea..Forgot...That positive note is cancelled out by some shitty news..Zzz...
I can't take my Undang test tmr...Sighs...
Gotta take it next week =(
Guess it ain't such a bright day after all =/


===========================End=====================================

Untitled

Well, this is my song that I've been working on...And please please do not copy it..Rofl..
Seriously...



*Untitled*


Feeling lonely ; feeling sad,
But what I can't stop feeling is being mad,
Watching you ; there with him,
I just can't stand another spin,

My heart is beating ; my love is real,
But why're you keeping me in this jail,
I try to tell you ; that you are,
The one I seek but you're too damn far,

And I can't seem to find the words when I'm with you..
The only words are the words that say I love you..
And it doesn't seem like you care what I've gotta say..
But I'll be here ; thinking of you coz' my love is here to stay...

And lovin' you is the only thing I can do...
You never noticed, you never knew,
Coz' you've always just saw right through...
And dreamin' of you is the only thought I've been thinkin' ...
Holdin' your hand, kissin' your lips,
Makes me feel like I'm your prince...
Now that you know you're the only one that I love...
I hope you come home coz' you know I'll be here waiting for you...


======To be continued======



Copyrights Reserved@ NeOn_10 =P

ReLaTioNsHipS

"If we don't have trust, we don't have anything..."

A famous quote from a person I don't know...But those words are deep...No?

i) Trust

Sighs...Trust, the core of a relationship...No trust in a relationship is the same as no heart in a living creature, no fruit inside a flower...Yea, guess it's like that...

Trust is much needed to build a steady relationship...Though trust is hard to gain...But it is easily lost...

There's nothing much really that anyone can do to change the fact that a relationship gone is more or less caused by lack of trust amongst the two partners in it. Yes, that's right, the trust and understanding, the belief and loyalty, is the cause of most unsuccessful relationships.

There never seems to be a day that goes by, that I think I lost my trust towards you, but it was we, who lost that sense of trustworthiness together.

I've never really trusted many people in my life. Though knowing that, it makes me really upset now that the only person I truly trusted is no longer here. Sighs...'
Now, to gain back the trust among other people in my life, it's really an uphill task and I don't think it will ever work. But unfortunately, I lose their trust as easy as I lost yours.

Trust...It's really hard for me to trust anyone, but I hope I can somehow find it in me to trust someone some other day...
Hopefully I will be able to...Though now, I seldom find anyone who can be trustworthy as everyone's involved in other relationships and therefore, they have their own responsibility.

It's not easy knowing that you're finding it hard to trust anyone. And it's more difficult knowing that the people you can trust, are the people that puts you in the list as those people who makes no difference in their lives. Yeah, it sucks...But yet again, I have to live with that.
Sighs...Is there anybody I can trust?


ii) Understanding

Well, in most relationships, understanding is truly a gift if both the people in the relationship are really well- matched. Though, sometimes things don't work out and then the relationship falls apart.

Everybody in this world needs a partner, whether here or spiritually. Sighs...
But then at times, you just wished that you'd find that person sooner rather than later.
The times where you are lonely, the times where you hurt, the times where you are unwanted, they just can't be paid back with some later on love can it?

Sighs...Loneliness, caused by the lack of understanding from others towards you.
If you don't allow others to see into you, you will always remain misunderstood, keep that in mind kay?

I really wish that this misunderstanding between me and others around me would vanish coz' everyone just don't see the real me.
They just see a guy, thinks he has a gf, a rich guy, with a lot of other stuff, and bla bla bla...Well, let me tell you that you guys are so off track. Sighs...

Anyways, understanding is something that is built from the passing of time, and it will never go away even till' the day you're no longer here coz' it will always remain in your heart and live within you spiritually.

The understanding, or in other words "chemistry" between two people in a relationship has to be at a level of amazing connection. Only with that, the relationship will continue to grow stronger, coz' the rough times and happiness are shared with each other. I don't even know what I'm saying actually, but hey, I'm just trying to point out that understanding in a relationship can go a long way =)


iii) Connection

The connection between two people in a relationship is the most important thing in sustaining a relationship.

"If we can't connect/relate to each other, how are we goin' to go through this together?"

Another quote but again, I don't know by who. Sienz...
Nevermind that, anyways, a good connection between people in a relationship can be seen through the actions of the partner in a relationship.

Knowing when to call that person, knowing when that person needs someone to talk to, knowing what that person needs at the moment, knowing whether or not the person is emotional whether sad or happy, and knowing the times where you can put a smile on that person's face are just some simple connections which you can relate to a person.

Right now, I seldom get these type of connections. I eat but I feel sad, coz' I know that nobody's checking on me, I go out to do stuff, but I feel depressed coz' nobody realizes whether I'm there or not, I feel stuff, but nobody knows what I feel, because I know that nobody cares as much as you used to towards me.

I miss those times where we had a great connection between us.
You always call at the right time, making sure that I'm alright and putting a smile back on my face.
You always message me at the right time, making sure that I'm okay and that what I'm doing is right.

Yeah, they're gone now.
Gone...As simple as a snap of a finger.

Really, it's just annoying feeling like this coz' when I eat, I realize who ever wonders, whether I'm full, who knows what I like to eat, who knows what I dislike to eat, who knows what ice-cream flavour I like, who knows what fast food I like, who knows what I'm eating now, who knows what I'm eating late at night, who knows what I'm feeling when I eat, who knows whether I'm left-handed or right-handed, who knows my favourite drink, my favourite chewing-gum, my favourite candy, my favourite chocolate...

Tell me, who knows? Do you? Do you really know any of those?
And that's just when I'm eating...Sighs...With me knowing that, I can't sleep at nite nor do I have an appetite to finish my food now. Coz' the only person whom can answer me is totally out of my life.


================================================================

Relationships is built on trust, compassion, connection and understanding.
A simple touch of magic can just about put a smile on anyone's face.
A simple spark in a relationship can just about make someone feel warm and happy for a long long time.

Quoted from myself, " A good relationship can withstand the storm, the sand and the seas, but a bad relationship could be easily broken with a gush of the breeze. "

Song of the Day | Mario Vazquez - Gallery

Oooo....
Oooo....Ooo yea...
God broke the mold,
When he made this one I know,
She's breathtaking but so much more,
She walks in the room your lungs close,
Making you never want to breath again,
Her boyfriend has got so much though,
So much ice his neck and wrist froze,
Is he faithful to her hell no...
But she chose to be with him, shorty..

Tell me is the money worth your soul?
Tell me what's the reason that you hold on,
When you know that dude has a whole wall of em' just like you,
And girl you're just way too fine,
Gotta be treated as one of a kind,
Girl use your mind,
Don't be just another dime,

Because I can't take seeing you with him,
Coz' I know exactly what you'll be...
In his gallery..
Just not fair,
And it's tearin' me apart,
You're just another priceless work of art...
In his gallery..

She's so confused,
She knows she deserves more,
Someone who will love and adore,
But his money's hard to ignore,
She really doesn't know what to do,
Girl it's just a matter of time,
Before he finds another more fine,
After he's done dulling your shine,
You're out the door and he's through with you...

Tell me is the money worth your soul?
Tell me what's the reason that you hold on,
When you know that dude has a whole wall of em' just like you,
And girl you're just way too fine,
Gotta be treated as one of a kind,
Girl use your mind,
Don't be just another dime...

I can't take seeing you with him,
Coz' I know exactly what you'll be...
In his gallery...
Just not fair..
And it's tearin' me apart,
You're just another priceless work of art..
In his gallery..

You're a masterpiece...
I know that he...
Can't appreciate your beauty..
Don't let him cheapen you,
He don't see you like I do,
Beautiful not just for show,
It's time that someone let you know...

I can't take seeing you with him...
Coz' I know exactly what you'll be...
In his gallery...
Just not fair...
And it's tearin' me apart,
You're just another priceless work of art...

Ohh...
I can't take seeing you with him...
Coz' I know exactly what you'll be..
In his gallery..
Just not fair,
And it's tearin' me apart,
You're just another priceless work of art...
In his gallery...

In his gallery...

So YesTerDaY...

"If it's over let it go and come tomorrow it will seem so yesterday...So yesterday...I'm just a bird that's already flown away...Laugh it off and let it go and when you wake up, it will seem so yesterday...So yesterday...Haven't you heard that I'm gonna be okay? "

Today was quite an odd day...Why?
Somehow I felt less emo but at the same time very emo...
Ti-Ratana~! LOL...
The children there...Touching...Really it was...Somehow that provided me with a lil' warmth that I needed =)

I know now that there's no point in being sad over something that wasn't meant to be...
So, I would like to say sorry for all those that tried to cheer me up...Coz' I know I wasted your precious time eventhough if you didn't want to talk to me about it...But I thank you people...Even if it's just sympathy the reason to talk to me...I've appreciated it...Although if it's just because you sympathize me or find that I'm pathetic...Then I've got nothing to say la...

Sighs...I guess that true love is never lost...But at the same time...Cannot be found but only can be destined to that person, he/she...



I missed the way you check up on me,
I missed the way you always whisper to me,
I miss those nights we spent together,
I miss those times where we used to laugh at each other,
I miss the times when you sms me in school,
I miss the times where we used to play a fool,
I miss those moments where our love was real,
I miss those moments where you made me feel surreal,
Those times were the times I truly cherish,
But now, it all just seems to parish...


Yea, really miss you...But then, I guess it just wouldn't work out between us...'
The feelings that I feel will never go away I know..

"Coz' once you truly place your heart into someone's arms...That person becomes part of you forever..."

I guess I'll have to make the most of what's left now...Pick up the pieces...Build back the old me...Time is the healer of all misery, but I doubt that...But nvm, it's a long shot...But it's a chance I got to take...

Sighs..Hopefully I'll feel better now...And yea, playin futsal really helps...Hehe..
Though I scored below my average...But hey, I'm happy to play again...
I hope that I could be able to be myself again...And hopefully I won't have to waste my time and other ppl's time to try to cheer me up...Once again, I'm sorry if I did...Kay..

=======================End=================================

Song of the Day | Mandy Moore - Cry

I'll always remember...
It was late afternoon,
It lasted forever...
But it ended so soon,
You were all by yourself,
Staring at a dark grey sky,
I was changed...

In places no-one will find,
All your feelings deep inside,
It was then that I realized,
That forever was in your eyes,
The moment I saw you cry...

Cry..
The moment that I saw you cry...

It was late in September...
And I've seen you before,
You were always the cold one...
But I was never that sure...
You were all by yourself,
Staring at a dark grey sky,
I was changed...

In places no-one will find,
All your feelings deep inside,
Deep inside...
It was then that I realized,
That forever was in your eyes,
The moment I saw you cry...

I wanted to hold you,
I wanted to make it go away,
I wanted to know you,
I wanted to make your everything...
Oh, cry...

I'll always remember..
It was late afternoon...

In places no-one will find...
In places no-one will find,
All your feelings deep inside,
Forever was in your eyes...
It was then that I realized,
That forever was in your eyes,
The moment I saw you cry...

Baby cry...
The moment that I saw you cry..
Oh no, no, no...
I think I saw you cry..
The moment I saw you cry...

I wanted to know you...

FeeLinGs Don'T Lie but TheY Do DeCeiVe

This would be my post for the 25th of the month...
Had an okay time in school I guess today...Laughed a lot during the class party ( muahaha, our special party )... Other than that, didn't really liked the fact of the long assembly and weird performances...Though Aizat's singing was good XD

Then went out today...Wasn't that bad at first...But then...Didn't really enjoy myself as I knew I guessed it already...'
Later on, watched PotC...I've really digged PotC since it's first release but then this time I can't say it was bad la...Just that, I'm watching the movie at the wrong time...Didn't really had mood for a movie somemore it's a movie based on betrayal...Deception and cunningness....and love...yes, love...Sighs... =/

Why I'm stressing on that?
Because I've finally found the reason why I'm feeling this down and sad these few days...Haihz...Yes, and feelings don't run away just like that...It becomes part of you...Who you are...And this feeling just sux...A lot...What is the reason for this feeling?

Well...I've finally realized now that I need that someone...That person whom you can rely on...That person whom you place your trust on...That person that cares for you...Cherishes you...'

Yes, and I'm sure of that...Coz' ever since I lost that someone...The feeling gets shittier everyday that goes by...Sighs...

"There's just an empty space...There's nothing left here to remind me...Just the memory of your face..."

Don't know when I'll ever find that person again...But till' then...I guess I'll enjoy gettin' soaked in the rain...Crossing roads without looking...Blasting my I-pod in the cinemas...Weee...that sounds nice...Qwer...'

==================End==============================

Song of the Day | Avril Lavigne - Fall to Pieces

I looked away,
Then I looked back at you,
You tried to say,
Things that you can't undo,
If I had my way,
I'd never get over you...
Today's the day,
I pray that we'd make it through,

Make it through the fall,
Make it through it all...

And I don't wanna fall to pieces,
I just wanna sit and stare at you,
I don't wanna talk about it,
And I don't want a conversation,
I just wanna cry in front of you,
And I don't wanna talk about it,
Coz' I'm in love with you...

You're the only one,
I'd be with till the end,
When I come undone,
You bring me back again,

Back on to the stars,
Back into your arms,

And I don't wanna fall to pieces,
I just wanna sit and stare at you,
I don't wanna talk about it,
And I don't want a conversation,
I just wanna cry in front of you,
And I don't wanna talk about it,
Coz' I'm in love with you...

Wanna know who you are,
Wanna know where to start,
I wanna know what this means,
Wanna know how you feel,
Wanna know what is real,
I wanna know everything..
Everything...

I don't wanna fall to pieces..
I just wanna sit and stare at you..
I don't wanna talk about it..
And I don't want a conversation,
I just wanna cry in front of you,
I don't wanna talk about it,

And I don't wanna fall to pieces,
I just wanna sit and stare at you,
I don't wanna talk about it,
And I don't want a conversation,
I just wanna cry in front of you,
And I don't wanna talk about it,
Coz' I'm love with you...
I'm in love with you...
Coz' I'm in love with you..
I'm in love with you..

I'm in love with you......

24/5

Sighs...Another emo-day...As usual la...Nothing much to explain why...

Anyways, didn't go to school today...As I guess some of you realize that...
Feeling shitty, where nobody understands how it feels...I guess I'm feeling like that now...

Gonna take my Undang soon though...hehe...
Guess that's the only bright thought I can think of...And guess I'm not watching PotC tmr too...
Think I'll be watching it either alone or hopefully with someone...Rofl...
Darn, Spidey also belum tengok =/

Anyways, sad day...Did nothing really..Sigh...Nvmz...
Nothin' left to say I guess...

Oh yea, forgot to quote at least one thing...
Hmm...

"I saw a movie and it just wasn't the same...Because it was happy and I was sad...And it made me...."

====================End===============================

Song of the Day | Gil - It's Your Love

Everyday I'll update this with a song of the day, and in case you're wondering...
I don't copy and paste from lyrics websites, so if there's a few mistakes do let me know..
Coz' I type the full song out =/
Why? I've got nothing to do and this keeps me less emo I guess...Sigh...


Dancing in the dark,
Middle of the night,
Takin' your heart,
Holdin' in tight,
Emotional touch,
Oh...Touching my skin,
Asking you to do,
What you've been doin' all over again,

Oh...It's a beautiful thing,
Don't think I can keep it all in,
I just gotta let you know,
What it is that won't let me go,

It's your love,
Just does something to me,
Sends a shock right through me,
Can't get enough,
So if you wonder,
About the spell I'm under,
It's your love...

Better than I was,
More than I am,
All of that happens,
By taking your hand,
Who I am now,
Still I wanted to be,
Now that we're together,
Stronger than ever,
Happy and free...

Oh...It's a beautiful thing,
Don't think I can keep it all in,
If you ask me why I'll change,
All I gotta do is say your sweet name...

It's your love,
Just does something to me,
Sends a shock right through me,
Can't get enough,
So if you wonder,
About the spell I'm under,
It's your love..

Oh...It's a beautiful thing,
Don't think I can keep it all in,
I just gotta let you know,
What it is that won't let me go...

It's your love...
Just does something to me...
Sends a shock right through me...
Can't get enough...
So if you wonder,
About the spell I'm under,
It's your love...

It's your love,
Just does something to me,
Sends a shock right through me,
Can't get enough...
So if you wonder,
About the spell I'm under,
It's your love...

It's your love...

Bitches~!!!

Well, I'm gonna dedicate this post to you (yes, you bitch, you know who you are)...
You think that it's fun backstabbing someone else?
You think that it's fun now that you're popular? That you're the centre of attraction?
That you're the one everyone thinks you are? Well, I kept your promise when I said that I'll never ever tell anyone that you once fell for me and for Brian ( no relation to sJi )...Ooppss...
Did I just say that? Oh, I'm so sorry...NOT~!!! =P

You think what...Now that I don't know much you can go around trash talking people...Deceiving people...Ruining people's image? Well, fuck off and rot in hell you bitch~!!!
You're not even close to her and yet you're like acting as if you're her and like bringing down my image as well...What the heck do you think this is...Here's something for ya...If you're ever gonna read this...Which I'm sure you are... You're nothing more than a WANNABE~!! Yea, that's right, WANNABE WANNABE WANNABE~!!!

Bitches...
Something people don't need...
They're people who trash talk and don't read...
They're people with no opinions and just jealous...
Coz' they know that they can never be that precious..
Bitches...
Goin' around pretending to be cool...
Without knowing they're making you a fool...
Backstabbing and trash talking when you're not around...
Telling other people you're just like a clown...
Bitches...
Something I can live without....
Coz' I'll feel much better knowing they are not about...

I thought of that in the last 5minutes thanks to you...Hope you "appreciate" it...Aite...Thanks for nothing...Be gone now...Qwer...And rot in hell~!!

Coz' you've just freakin' pissed me off...Now I'm sure of not goin' to school tomorrow..Screw life...Don't wanna go anywhere now...Rather stay here and cry myself to sleep...And yea, if that makes you happy, then so be it...But it makes me a lot happier one day knowing that you'll rot in hell...Kay...


========================End===================================

23/5 | Emo-day |

Yet, again...
Another sad emo-day =(
But it wasn't that bad to begin with, getting 77% for my Chemistry ain't that bad, though was aiming for 80%...Qwer...
Nothing to be said when I got back my BM paper ll, and guess what, I screwed up in my rumusan...Sigh...From 29/30 now I got 12/30...Sad rite? =/

"You should have called me, when you were lonely, and you needed me to be there...But sadly, you never gave me too many chances, to show you how much I care..."

've got nothing much to say now...Just feeling I don't know...Sad? Unhappy? Something like that la...Qwer...

Anyways, don't think I'll be goin' to school tomorrow... Feels sucky whenever I'm at school now... Just doesn't feel right...Sigh, goin out? Not too sure...Coz you can't have fun or enjoy anything when you're down, can you? =/

"The only way to feel again is to let love in", unfortunately that's something I can't do at the moment. So screw it...Lalala....


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NeOn, the LoneLiesT Gas In the GaLaXy

This would be my first post for this emotionally-detached blog...
May not mean much to you as it would to me...
But hey, we're worlds apart am I rite?

I'll just start off with introducing myself as not many people might know some stuff about me :

I'm Justin, in case you don't know...Lawl, anyways, I'm pretty emo ( stop misusing the word emo for emotional, because it stands for emotionally-detached =P ) but I seldom show it on the outside la. Simple as that. Rofl, anyways, I've never really had many best friends around me, as they tend to go as easy as they came ( yes, if you're reading, you know who you are ). My life's pretty boring, though I try to make the most of it, but still, it doesn't affect the emo-ness I feel.

I never really loved someone as deeply as the person most dearest to me. But now since that part of my life is over, there's nothing much to love, isn't there? =/

"Love is like a flame, it could either burn eternally or burn like a candle where it will finally end with time", quoted from myself, muahaha. Anyways, that's somethin I've come to think off from my emo-spare time hanging around the house. And that's how I come out with emo- poems and weird stuff which is unusual to most ppl out there.

Nevermind that, I've never felt lonelier, colder, weaker, than what I've been feeling lately, but that doesn't seem like it right? I may keep it to myself, or share it with others, or maybe you came to find out by yourself, but whatever it is, I can't deny the fact that I've never felt this empty and full of nothingness before. Somehow, I still deny that, or you may deny it for me ( thanks for telling everybody that I've got a *you know what*, yes you know who you ppl are ), but to no avail as the feeling just won't subside, or will it ever? =/

I'm listening to 'Gil-It's Your Love' now, and yes, it's a sentimental song, just like all other songs that I listen when I'm feeling this way. Funny isn't it, that you need to listen to these kinda songs to calm yourself but at the same time you're hurt by it? I don't know, but I find it that way. Just listening to songs like these, slow, meaningful, touching, makes me feel I don't know, that certain feeling of comfort and soothness. Qwer...

I'm kinda lost with what I'm doing now in life, just goin to school, study ( though I can't study the way I used to due to my brain bein' filled with emo-thoughts ), hang out once in a while, and maybe try breakin my own records of not sleeping or seeing how long my fingernails can grow ( yes, I'm that weird ). I don't know what I'm gonna do in future, nothing's come across my mind, yet. And it doesn't seem like anything will any time soon. Sighs, what's the purpose of my life? Do you know yours, are you sure that it is the real purpose? Or you're just doin' wat you are doin' to your life based on other ppl's thoughts, opinions, dreams, visions, instructions, demands? =/

"Don't wanna be like every other guy in the world, like every other one who wants you coz when I see you, something inside me burns, and then I realize..."
Go figure the ending, hehe. =)


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