Ken

It's hard for a sparrow to find a nest, for there are many trees around the forest. A little sparrow, finding and searching, only to discover the best nesting ground is taken, the irony. The sparrow moves on, in hope to find one just as inviting and nice. It's driven by the will to live, the determination to survive, and the lust to nest. It's surreptitious movement, so nimble, so elegant, yet so unappreciated. It moves on, again, through the rain, through the winds, through the snow, but to no avail.

It doesn't remain defeated however, only a pinch of disappointment, maybe. Unraveling the forest bit by bit, it still continues its search. Hindered by more setbacks, but motivated by the morning sun day after day. The sparrow knows, that there may not be another perfect nesting ground as the one it found on its first encounter, but in hope it believes in, and in faith that one day there will be one that's meant for it.

Just when hope seemingly has been wiped away, a glimmer of light appears at the end of the tunnel. That amiable view, that brilliant sighting, the perfect nesting ground, it has found. The sparrow was treated to a mountain-high of satisfaction. However, it did not remain that way. Much to its joy, it knows that it didn't belong there, for it did not understood the need to settle in a perfect nesting ground. It realized, that the necessity to be perfect, isn't so perfect after all.

So the sparrow moves on, it knows, but it somehow doesn't. As it moves away, it glances back at that spot only to see another sparrow resting on that nesting ground. It sheds a tear, but carries on in flight with a heavy, but strong heart. It knows, but then again, it doesn't. Curiosity begins to develop inside the sparrow, but it is ignored, as the sparrow knows, if only the nesting ground could speak, what would it probably say? It wonders, as it flies away into the deep tropical forest, never to be seen again.

Love story? Hell no. Go figure.



*Flight of the bumblebee-buzz.

GoldinUniverse

Name: justin
Date: 10/19/2007
Colorgenics Number: 16425307

---

You don't need anxiety and problems. All you really seek is a conflict free environment which can offer peace and mental security. You don't like the idea of being alone and, whatever the reason, at this time of your life you feel as if you are being 'left out'. What you really need is perhaps some 'tender loving care'.

In the past there have been - and maybe there still are - many things that you have had to do without. You have now decided to set your sights on a position or situation that could give you greater prestige and which will afford you considerable self esteem.

It is hard for you to accept that your needs and desires are misunderstood by almost everyone within your sphere of influence and there is no one to rely on. Your pent-up emotions and inherent egocentricity make you quick to take offence, but as matters stand you realise that you'll have to make the best of things as they are.

You are being unduly influenced by the situation that is all around you. You do not like the feeling of loneliness and whatever it is that seems to separate you from others. You know that life can be wonderful and you are anxious to experience life in all its aspects, to live it to the full. You therefore resent any restriction or limitations that are being imposed on you and you insist on going it alone.

You wish to be left in peace... no more conflict and no more differences of opinion. In fact you just don't want to be involved in arguments of any shape or form. All you want is for 'them' to get on with it - and to leave you alone.




==================================

Pudgy Wudgy ll !

Enjoy. =)

Eeee

Well, I guess you know me a lot by now, and I'm sure I know you quite well too.
We talk to each other just fine, and we make each other laugh everytime we see each other.

We can talk for hours and embrace one another's presence for longer than what we thought would be.

It's funny how we met, but it's funnier how we got here to where we are today.
Although it doesn't seem like a long time, but I've come to know you so much more in these past few months.

It seems rather weird, but at the same time it all seems so fitting.
May it be where we are right now, I hope we can continue this.

And hopefully in time, when the right moment and the right time comes, we both might find each other to be more than where we are now.

I'm pretty sure you'll never read this, but if you do, I hope you know what I'm trying to say.
But most likely you won't, coz' hardly anyone ever will read it anyway.

Eeee...Just scribbles of mine here. *yawns* I'm sleepy, and it's only 10.40pm.

Oh well, whatever. *dives to the bed and cuddles the cat* Lalala, nites' people. =)


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English Practice cum Third Party

Well, I've got some things to say out here. So, I'll treat this as part of my preparation for tomorrow's exam too. =D

And I'm eating cereal too now. Haha.

Okay, back to the post.


Apparently, they say a third party's point of view or a third party's look on things is a view that many say the "correct" and "appropriate" and "best" view on things.

Well, to say the least, I somehow agree with that.

Because a third party's view is a view concealed among the two person involved but certainly it is the most vivid view when compared to the two parties involved.

What seems to be so intricate but when observed from a different perspective, it all seems so simple and clear.

From the outside, I was certainly deceived by the amiable looks, the concealed beauty, and the bona fide inner essence that you adhere. But when I was finally and surreptitiously told, I realize beauty is only skin deep and that all that glitters is not gold. For you are a femme fatale whom only does whatever that appeases you.

Now I know that you should not hitch your wagon to a star, for one must sow the wind and reap the whirlwind.

I used to treat you as a persona nongrata in my life, but the apathetic shoulder that you gave me was as cold as ice and certainly it was a destitute way to neglect one person. But to come to know the obstinate and diabolic person that you are, I knew it was unthinkable for me to be with you.

Your movements were as graceful as a swan, and as cunning as a fox but you shattered my heart which was as brittle as glass when I came to find out that all you were, was just a hoax and a conceited bitch who couldn't care less except her own modus vivendi.

I also came to know that a leopard cannot change its spots and I guess we should just let bygones be bygones, shouldn't we?

Despite your eminent and immaculate cover, the feelings and the truth that's concealed in your heart was vivid to me the moment I started being an indolent minuscule to you.

I first thought there was no remedy to this ailment, but I hindered myself from thinking about that and finally I have come to comprehend that there is no point crying over spilt milk.

For every cloud has a silver lining, and time and tide wait for no man.

Thus, I have to move on. Your tender touch, the ever bashful side of yours, and the dilemma that you put me through, is something I will remember you for. But certainly, I shall not be adhered to you as you are as obstinate as a mule for you do not seem to care about the people who really sees you for who you are.

You made my legs feeble and you made my heart robust when I'm with you, but now after what I know, I just feel like an absurd idiot and a toy to you. Now I know that fools rush in where angels fear to tread.

But I guess that's life, you live and learn from all the negligence and inquistiveness. For the time you learn is the time when you're down.


"Why do we fall? So that we can learn to pick ourselves up".


I have now abdicated all my feelings for you. As I know, the more I adhere around, the more painful this arrow that buries itself through my crest will be.

The sumptuous moments of togetherness, the amiable times we had together, all has gone down the drain and shall be forgotten with the passing of the wind.

I thank the people whom told me about this "Third Party" thing, for this really is a stitch in time saves nine.

I guess I couldn't expect much from relationships, as you can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear.

Love is an intricate thing and certainly as ancient as the stars. Unknown, untouched, unfamiliar, and by all means, unbelievable.

The eminent feeling of experiencing love is such a bewildering thing. For it just alters our modus vivendi and changes what we believe in.

I love you surreptitiously but that feeling is behind the concealed door of my heart now. For I have put that in the past and have vanquished that obscure and ambiguous feeling.

I know that I'm just a sheer minuscule and nothing more than an absurd soldier at your every command, but I guess things have changed now. For you are the absurd one. Why?

Because you have lost a person whom you think is a fool, a hypocrite, a bitch, a bastard, or even an asshole. But in truthful fact, you lost me, a person whom you will never come to comprehend like what my real friends do.

So, I'm not the loser here, for you are. You lost something precious, something not many people see in me. You lost my trust and everything there is about me towards you.

I feel tranquil now for I guess it is not my calamity that comes back to haunt me. As I know, my high school time has had everything, from destroying chairs and tables, to going on rooftops, from skipping classes, to eating in class, from having a girlfriend, to breaking up in the most miserable way. But one thing's for sure, high school ain't the highlight of my life.

Because if high school is the highest point in anyone's life, then that person has nothing much left to look forward to in life.

I guess that's all for English today.

Class dismissed. =P



=======================

Pictures of My Heart

Of Fairytales and Gemstones

Once upon a time, there lived seven dwarfs, bla bla bla...The witch poisoned the apple, and the beautiful girl ate it, and she fell into eternal slumber. The witch then was killed as she fell off a cliff, the seven dwarfs mourn over the death of the girl. Then came along a prince and kissed the girl and revived her ( forgot how ), and they lived happily ever after.

Seems all too familiar?

Yea, I know, but sadly, in life, happy endings only exist in fairy tales, don't they?

How many times you would go to say that after you've gone through a rough patch, then you would live happily ever after for the rest of your life?

Well, can't think of any time that you would resort to that sort of thinking right?

That's the fact of life. One full of lies, deception, bitches, assenines, corruption, idiocy, stupidity, and pure crap. Well, if you haven't encountered those, then let me tell you, you have only experienced some what, 1% of life?

Apparently, if you're borned with a silver spoon in your mouth, then that might be a different case.

The times where we come to see life as something to look forward to is never really what we would come to expect it to be, because life is full of surprises, but not when you need one.

Unlike *coughs* fairy tales *coughs*, surprises tend to happen too, but always the obvious and the beneficiary of things will go to the good people, and always the villains lose/die/is defeated at the end of the story.

The total unfair and biasness of fairy tales, whereby every single one of them are the same, in which the endings always are happy for the good people, and the villain always suffer and never to be judged fairly based on their predicament solely.

In contrary, the difference in reality is, everyone is judged by their predicament and not everything goes your way. You might do good deeds as great as Mother Teresa or Ghandi, but you will never end up being close to etch your name amongst these people. Why?

Because that's life. Life is nothing close to fair. Life isn't all what you think it is, why?

Because when shit happens, shit happens. Yes, there are miracles, but how often do they shine upon you and escort you to the path that you desire most.

The never-ending journey of pain and despair really just burdens people whom seem to live life the proper way. Life is never easy, and it's never easy experiencing life or growing up because you're opened up to new experiences, which could be good times or rough times, but no matter what, it's never easy to go through them, even the good ones.

Why?

Because the good ones never come easy, you work hard for it, you sacrifice for it, and most of all, you endure the suffering after you experience the good in life, unless of course you're Angelina Jolie's daughter, then there could be slightly less suffering.

Well, apparently, my life isn't all that perfect either. Hoho, the obvious? In fact, nobody's life is all perfect and all good, and nobody's life is all evil too. Everyone has their fair share of good and bad in them, but at the end of the day, it is up to that person, to utilize whichever necessary to gaze upon and deduce the proper action to be taken on a certain situation.

I can't say that I've done all good things in my life, because I have my fair share of evil, naughty and maybe bad things that I've done in the past. Yes, might be a surprise to you, might be not, but that's the fact.

But even when you're going through rough patches, or spreading bad karma around in life, there's always something in this world that makes everything seem all so right. It doesn't matter whether it's doing the right thing, or doing what seems right to you, but this thing in life just tells you that it is right no matter which path or decision you choose or make.

Ah, the ever so amiable beauty of it makes my heart feel so warm. The ever so shining incandescence of its majestic exterior looks just makes me feel like I'm in heaven. To just relish it and hold it in my arms just makes me feel as though I'm touching an angel that's sent down from above.

Its authenticity is surreal but its fragility is something not to be neglected. Because never will you find something so beautiful, something so amiable, something so elegant, and yet it's so tame and timid yet lovely at the same time.

Yes, the one relic that takes the test of time to prove how much it is worth. The one thing in this world that has survived through the ages and brighten up every man's day.

Gemstones.

Why these gemstones?

Well, if you know me well enough, then you'll know. =/

Friday the 13th !

Okay. I'll try to post something up here now which is not Italic. Lolz.

Think it would be rather interesting how this post is gonna end up. Ngek ngek XD
Anyways, today, as some of you might not have noticed, is Friday the 13th ! Yes, bad luck day, cursed day, whatever you may call it day, whatever, what trikasleonaphobia day or something.

So, as it seems today was just like any other ordinary day in the life of yes, Ken. =P

But all seems so dull, until the point where Ken decides to spice things up a little. Ken listened to his iPod during the whole time he was at school. Whether walking pass the office, walking pass teachers, confronting teachers, walking around the corridors, or whether in class, Ken's earphone was always at his ear. I'm sure some teachers noticed it, but hey, I don't care.

Qwer, and a good friend of Ken today messaged Ken during school hours for like 4hours it seems? Ngek ngek XD
She had her problems and so did Ken, so they shared their thoughts with each other on it. She had some stuff with her bf, and Ken had his issues with his approach to certain people too.

Anyways, Ken didn't pay attention in class, but yet again, he deceived all the teachers with his slickness by scribbling his exercise book in fooling the teachers by thinking it was notes. Ken also managed to wrote a poem during recess again. Although it seems that Ken has lost his inspiration to write, he seems inspired by the fact of being lonely. =/

Ken didn't do much today. Except discover some stuff which hurts him more. The fact that nobody noticed some changes about him today. And the fact that nobody noticed that Ken wasn't wearing a wristband today. Nvm, it seems nobody is bothered by Ken's existence in school anyways.

To add to that, here are a few things Ken learned today in school :

---> In some cases, relationships are formed based on the need of companion and someone to rely on and other relationships are based on pure attractions. At the end of the day, it is up to the individual to work their relationship out.

---> If you are in love, you are in love. Sometimes even people in serious relationships can lose their feelings after some time so it's unfair to assume that all younger people experience puppy love.

---> Falling in love is easy, it's staying in love that's the difficult bit.

---> Some people date for the sake of dating and being able to say that they have a 'significant' other. These relationships are of course doomed from the start and are perfect examples of casual relationships.

---> It doesn't matter what age you are, just as long as you know what you want, how to go about it and that you want it to work out. It may not be a sure-fire success but at least you'd be going about it the right way.

---> It is better to love and lost than to never have loved at all.

---> It's not all about flowers and chocolates and fun dates and hugs and kisses. The tough part is how you make it through the times when things are not working so well, and how you handle your tiffs and whatever issues that may arises. Which begs the question, can you really be bothered ?


So, that's about what Ken has learned today. =)

And now back to the post, so today after school went to eat at mcD's after Tay suggested it.
So, makan and chit chat and played cards till like 3.30pm I think. Then, did a few confirmations and stuff bout' tomorrow's plans. So, it has been decided lor.

Called up a few friends to confirm some stuff, so that means tomorrow is I.U. Day at SBU and then Harry Potter later on. Qwer, guess that's the plan thus far. And might be going for Transformers next week, woots, it seems like I'm the only one that hasn't watched it, sad right?

So, Friday the 13th ain't really that bad after all. Only the fact that I come to realize that I cannot belong to someone unless I make that someone belong to me. Ish, it sucks, really it does. To know that, the only way to let love find me, is to wander around and not trap myself in this environment of mentally distorted beings.

Too bad I'm gonna miss MLTR though. Thankfully, I caught them when they were here last time around. =)

So, Friday the 13th. What more can you do to me besides make me blog instead of playing DotA. Well, it seems like I'm destined to never touch DotA anymore, but hey, there's more to life than video games.

You know those new year's resolution thingy, think I'm gonna do one tomorrow to set some stuff straight in my life. So, Friday the 13th, what else do you have installed for me? Besides telling me that I'm alone, and that I cannot love as I fear that I will not be loved back. Sighs.

Friday the 13th, tell me why. Why am I feeling on top, but deep inside, I feel so hurt and lonely? Why? Sighs, if I am happy for what I am now, why am I so sad? Qwer.

" To let true love remain unspoken, is the quickest route to rob the heart ".

Another quote from Ken. =)

Aites, that's all for Friday the 13th. Thanks for reading. Ciaoz people. =P

Of Firefox and Music

Well, Firefox has been pissing me off lately. I mean I've been trying to log on to some stuff, erhem, which certainly I remembered to mark the "Remember Me" tickbox. And yet, the next few days I enter the same webbie, it doesn't recognize my log in ID.

Sighs, really frustrating. Good thing I remember the passwords, if not really I'll sue Firefox man. Qwer...

Anyways, got quite a lot of stuff I want to write today, as tomorrow I won't be able to due to the fact I'm gonna have tuition. Huhu T_T

So, I'll just start off with expressing my gratitude to Firefox, despite the fact it has been wacky these few days. But certainly it's much easier to Google for stuff and the tab functions are fun ! Wee.. =D

And yeah, on a sidenote, here are the songs currently playing on my iPod and my computer everyday. Some of you might notice, but in case you don't, here they are :

Wang Lee Hom - Wei Yi
Wang Lee Hom - Kiss Goodbye
Goo Goo Dolls - Iris
Mandy Moore - Crush
Mandy Moore - Cry
Mandy Moore feat. Jonathan Foreman - Someday We'll Know
Avril Lavigne - When You're Gone
O' Town - All or Nothing
The Calling - Wherever You Will Go
Jay Chou feat. Lara - Coral Sea
Bellefire - You Were Meant For Me
Too Phat - Just A Friend
Savage Garden - Truly Madly Deeply
Savage Garden - Crash and Burn
Lifehouse - Blind
Five for Fighting - Superman
Backstreet Boys - Just Want You to Know




These 17 songs are the ones I'm listening to. Somehow, it feels kinda nice just to listen to them again and again. =D

And yes, I do keep them in a playlist, both in my iPod and my computer, that's why I know them well.

Aites, more posts to come. Gotta shower now first. Be back later...

Of Oranges and Computer

Well, I named this post as I'm eating oranges now, and yes, I skipped school if you didn't notice.
And I'm in front of the computer, so "of oranges and computer".

Anyways, oranges has never tasted so sweet. Nice, but at times, too sweet. I just love sucking the juice and as it flows to my mouth, that taste and that feel is just so cooling and nice. Geez, why am I talking bout this. Rofl.

Well, I woke up this morning thinking about whether I should go to school or not. It was about 6.20am. So, then I told my mum that I've got lotsa hw that I haven't do, so I don't think I wanna go to school.

So, after some nagging and a lil' scolding, I was persistent and stayed in my room. So, I managed to skip school. Yay !

Around 7.30 she came in and told me to study, but being the emo person that I am, I didn't bother, so I slept. Till around 10.30 like that.

So, I woke up, watched tv, then went up to the room to download some N'Sync songs. Then I listened to the songs while catching up on what I've missed in the last few days around the place.

Then, I updated my blog and here I am. And my mum's still like nagging me about school and bla bla bla. Couldn't bother about it.


Have you ever met a girl that you thought was perfect?
You waited for her years coz' you know she's worth it...
Here's a lil story about a girl I knew..
Since way back in pre-school some time in '82...
She had em' two pony tails and a front tooth missing..
With freckles on her cheeks coz' her mum's caucasian...
Up on a tree house where we chilled together..
With carvings on the trunk saying friends forever...

14th of February '93...
Little Jenny said she had a big suprise for me...
Gave me the very first kiss and a ring and a card...
And said I love you, so I gave her the rest of my heart...
A couple of weeks later I called her house at 10..
Her mama said I thought you supposed to be with Jen...
I quickly rushed to her crib, she just got out of a van...
I'm like yo, who was that? Oh, he's just a friend...

So I took Jenny's word for it at this time..
I thought just having a friend it couldn't be no crime...
Coz' even I have friends and babys that for show...
Just like Watson, Hailee, Baby Tash and Joe..
So we never talked about that late snack with van man..
We'd rather talk about the future we had planned and..
What to name our kids, al-Tarique or Shaymar?
Ayesha, or Tisha for a girl...
And maybe even bring our kids to that little tree house we chilled at...
But then in '94 I couldn't help but feel sad..
Jenny had to leave me to go get a little knowledge..
100 miles away in this place they call college...
First couple of months it was cool but then it changed yo...
She never called and acted like a strange ho...
One day I called it was picked up by a man...
I called again, she picked it up and said hey, that's just a friend...

This guy in her study group's the one who picked up the call..
Helping her in chemistry with cyclohexanol...
I got curious and asked her who else in ya team?
She said Ali, Hassan, Noreen and Kareem...
The next week I thought of giving her a little suprise..
But when in front of Jenny's dorm I couldn't believe my eyes...
I saw that same ugly van I saw in '93..
I found her room but guess what a brother had to see?
A fella half naked with my girl on the couch..
And baby Jenny moaning ugg uggh agghh and ouch...
So please listen to the message that I sing...
Don't ever talk to a girl who says she just has a friend...

( Names and dates has no relation with reality )


"Girl, you've got what I need, but you say he's just a friend..."

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