Ken

It's hard for a sparrow to find a nest, for there are many trees around the forest. A little sparrow, finding and searching, only to discover the best nesting ground is taken, the irony. The sparrow moves on, in hope to find one just as inviting and nice. It's driven by the will to live, the determination to survive, and the lust to nest. It's surreptitious movement, so nimble, so elegant, yet so unappreciated. It moves on, again, through the rain, through the winds, through the snow, but to no avail.

It doesn't remain defeated however, only a pinch of disappointment, maybe. Unraveling the forest bit by bit, it still continues its search. Hindered by more setbacks, but motivated by the morning sun day after day. The sparrow knows, that there may not be another perfect nesting ground as the one it found on its first encounter, but in hope it believes in, and in faith that one day there will be one that's meant for it.

Just when hope seemingly has been wiped away, a glimmer of light appears at the end of the tunnel. That amiable view, that brilliant sighting, the perfect nesting ground, it has found. The sparrow was treated to a mountain-high of satisfaction. However, it did not remain that way. Much to its joy, it knows that it didn't belong there, for it did not understood the need to settle in a perfect nesting ground. It realized, that the necessity to be perfect, isn't so perfect after all.

So the sparrow moves on, it knows, but it somehow doesn't. As it moves away, it glances back at that spot only to see another sparrow resting on that nesting ground. It sheds a tear, but carries on in flight with a heavy, but strong heart. It knows, but then again, it doesn't. Curiosity begins to develop inside the sparrow, but it is ignored, as the sparrow knows, if only the nesting ground could speak, what would it probably say? It wonders, as it flies away into the deep tropical forest, never to be seen again.

Love story? Hell no. Go figure.



*Flight of the bumblebee-buzz.

Ken

There are times when there are things that you know coz' you know, and there are times when there are things you think you know, but you actually don't. I usually do know, but I guess the latter describes me better now somehow.

Don't get it? Well, they're words only I know.



*Next year today.

Ken

Life. Couldn't be much more intricate, difficult, stressful, but enjoyable at the same time. Love. Is a many splendid thing. Makes life. The more reason to enjoy, and carry on with it. =)



*Take on me.

Ken

Some pictures from the past week:



Butterflies and a pig, yes, on my hand. =D



Thanks to baby.



Silly Tilly with my name tag. = =



Basketball before the barbeque.












So we decided to go back for me to grab a shower before coming back and we saw this very beautiful view of the sunset.


And thus, resulting in baby snapping pictures of it. Haha. =D



My toe after futsal. =/



The amount of blood lost, no wonder why my left foot cramped.



Yes, the wound which made it like tat.



*Like the sun coming up in the morning, like holding the world in your hands. <3

Ken

Collided. Stumbled. Fallen. Lifted. Enthralled. Standing again. <3



*It's the way you make me feel.

Ken

Sighs, my life is officially screwed. As in seriously.


*Back at one.

Ken

I am a jerk. I always have been. I don't deserve anything I get in life, I don't earn them, neither do I do anything to get them. Maybe I don't deserve being the person that I am now. I'm sure all of you would agree with me on that.

It really hurts knowing that you've been a jerk so bad till the closest person to you cannot trust you 100% with what you say or do, and that your so called friends will always think that you're nothing but just someone which doesn't get what he gives. Yeah, that's me.

I often wonder do I deserve the constant inability to sleep well, the sudden rush of thoughts to the head, and the constant thoughts that keep popping up in my head every now and then, and yeah, I guess all of you would agree that I do deserve much worse than that. Coz' yeah, I agree with you all too.

Well, it's bad enough the people you love find it hard to trust you as well as look at you differently when they see you based on each thing you do. But to add the fact that your life is an entire last minute plan out, just kind of makes it that much harder to please anyone and everyone.

I understand if you do not want to talk to me again, coz' yeah, I haven't been that much of a friend when you needed me to be. I'm sorry. I guess I just neglected my responsibility as a friend knowing what my other priorities were. I'm sorry for that.

I know I haven't been the nicest person I could be lately, and that I have been nothing but a jerk, but I'd hope you people would understand and contemplate my reasons for acting in such a manner.

Unfortunately, it seems like hoping for something like that wasn't really the right thing to do.

I'm pretty sure Mao's extremely pissed at me now, that Ho and Lai aren't exactly too happy with me either, that Zhi Wei is pretty mad at be for sandbag-ing him last time, that my ex-school mates prolly wished I be less of a snob as well as that much less of a jerk, and also that baby prolly thinks that I ain't that much of your sensible and lovable guy anymore and much more of a jerk instead of being a trusted and caring boyfriend in which you'd hope I be.

I understand and I'm able to comprehend why you people feel this way about me, and it is my own fault for putting myself into such a predicament. I'm sorry for making you people feel this way, and I'm even more sorry that it is only up till now that I have to come and apologize to all of you.

This post isn't to ask for your pity and sympathy towards the predicament I am in now, neither is it a must for you to even respond to it. Coz' honestly, I don't deserve the effort and time you people put in for me and despite being the jerk that I am, I never hold grudges, and I understand that I even with this, it wouldn't change anything that's been happening at the moment.

Sometimes in life when things are against you, it really is. I need a getaway. I think it's best that I stay away for the moment.

I didn't sleep well last night, to add to the account I only slept at 5am and woke up 7am after having 2 very weird dreams, again, and apart from momentarily slumber which I accidentally gave in to at midnight. I just didn't feel right that I just sat there and ponder upon my thoughts and not letting you all know about it, thus resulted in me typing this post on my phone last night.

If you didn't read it, it doesn't really matter anyway, coz' hey, why would you wanna listen to a jerk rambling about his life right. Hmm.



*Same old brand new you.

Ken

Weird dreams have been haunting me lately. Strange enough, I myself find it difficult to comprehend why.

It's been a while since I've been having these kinda dreams, oh well, what comes must go some time right?

I realize sometimes I tend to drift away into my own little world more often than I should.

I had a massage just now, and yeah, I wandered to "Thoughts Central" where I sort of like looked over things.

Maybe I tend to over-think things, and in which isn't for my own good I guess. Sudden rush of everything sometimes really just hits you real hard and makes you pause for a moment in your life, just like having a sugar rush to your brain after too much intake of glucose.

I shall, try not to have weird dreams anymore, hopefully. But I'm having weird feelings now. Hmm. I shall be gone now. Bye.



*When I look to the sky.

Ken

I wasted my afternoon stoning and watching Relative Strangers. I think it's a nice show, with quite a nice storyline. Very well, not the typical and obvious plot I guess.

I think Neve Campbell looks really pretty in the show. She plays Ellen, and yeah, well, the love story of Ellen and Richard is well, simply lovely. =)

I have to stop having weird dreams. And I do not have internal conflict. Hehe. =P

I guess I shall end here.

And I just realized the beginning of every 'Enter' starts with "I". Hmm...

Toodles.



*Quoted from the movie, "If you truly love someone, you accept them for whoever they are". Aww. <3

Ken

Class. Stone. Paper plates. Ice-cream. Family Guy. Basketball. Shower. Barbeque. Walk. Cuddles. Sleep. Weird dream. Baby.

Pretty much sums up my day yesterday. Love you baby <3



*Coz' it's you and me.