26/6

The unconventional plays of The All-American Reject's Dirty Little Secret keeps repeating in my iPod and in my square, black and maybe glaring computer. I can't do anything else but listen to it, really the addiction makes it feels like I'm like a wanderer. Or I guess it does.

The serenity and peace that I seek never really seem to be around whenever I let my body and s0uL go to search for it, but it's always there when I think about the past but it keeps haunting me with the pain and the hurtful feelings that conjure when you left.

There is no match to what happened in a morning so quiet and silent as the grave, as today was, it was only the still air and the gush of the wind I could hear when I was clearing my thoughts. Everybody else were alienated, they were away in their own little world called assembly. The only other thing I could hear was that sweet, unforgetable, soft sound coming from the larynx of you, your voice sooths me, but at the same time it kills me slowly.

I've never really stopped to think about what's gonna happen, instead I'm thinking of what may have been. I know it's not within my reach to decide and forsee what could have been, but I know one thing's for sure, I wouldn't be stuck in the predicament I'm finding myself at the moment. Just the thought of it takes me to a place to where I couldn't even recognize myself. Who am I now?

School's just more or less like a getaway at the moment, a place of temporary comfort and just a momentarily place to enjoy Mexican Wine. But then, the one place I'm longing to be at the moment, is somewhere pure, somewhere the world doesn't know, somewhere I feel like home, somewhere I feel myself being much cherished than now. That place is your heart. Despite my undying feelings, I know that this place is the one place I cannot be at but it's the place where I vie to be.

Free-falling is more or less the word to describe me now. I'm falling and it seems that you're not there to catch me, well at least nobody is. The weekends as well are a bummer now, but heck I don't friggin' care. I've got better things to do in life, and talks about relationships now hang within this very thin line in my life, and certainly what I'm doing now. The predicament and this undermining position I'm at, is just an insult to the once was Justin Low. And to find myself in this assenine and opprobrium situation, makes me feel a whole lot shit-tier than I was after watching the most prized possesion of mine leave me when I needed it most.

The rendering and sleepless nights that I'm going through, and the times where I just fall asleep to be in a place of my own, foreign to the world, away from the bitches and assholes that fills my life with the idiocy that I just don't need. It makes me feel rather sad, but sometimes being lonely is heck a lot better than being with a bunch of screwed up retards who give you nothing but trouble.

" The End Has No End "


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