A Moment's Breath, Everlasting Remembrance

When you're gone, I couldn't imagine a world without that scent of your smell, the touch of your hand, the kiss of your lips, that look you give me, the sweet and soothing voice of yours.

And to say that you have left none of those behind when you left me here in Hell's keep, is just unbearable to my thoughts and my heart.

Though the memories that we share, the secrets that we keep, the laughs that we had, the tough times that we endured, has engraved a place here in my heart, the thought of just remembering them and just looking back in the distant past deepens this wound that never seems to heal despite going through the test of time.

Alas, you leave my ship, leaving it without a captain, without the one thing that spearheads it, the impetus of my ship is gone, and never to return to set sail with me again.

The moments we had together, will always stay here in my heart, and never shall they be forgotten no matter what the outcome of our relationship may be. For you, have changed me. You, have sculptured me into the creation that I am now. You, have made me who I am today.

Without you, I would be a lost soul, wandering relentlessly around the face of the Earth. But the day I met you, I was found and taken away from that forsaken path of blindness.

The delicate and natural touch that you tend to lay on me everytime I need you to, just soothes me and gives me that sense of serenity that I long for all this while.

The times where we would spend nights and at times days sitting at our den, where we would study together and share our thoughts on the things we learn.

But of course, I was no more than just a student. For your cunning level of intelligence surpasses me in every single aspect of education. But who could blame you, for you have a gift unlike any other, a photographic memory which captures and snaps everything that you see. A gift so extraordinary that sometimes it surprises many, but to me, you're just being yourself.

Because everyone is special in their own unique way, and you are no different. Your beauty on the outside and elegance doesn't really comply to the level of intelligence that you have, for many with the beauty doesn't have the brain.

But you are different. You give people the impression of the "typical blonde", but then you end up being one who puts an exclamation mark on top of everyone's head.

The times where you would sit on my lap as we studied, the times where you taught me things I couldn't even see right before my very eyes, the times where we would laugh and smother each other during our studying process, is what makes studying so memorable and worth remembering.

I dare say that you are the one thing that drives me to strive my best in doing what I do.

Because your ever so cunning and breathtaking presence just blows me away and makes me want to come back for more.

The times where we used to embark on our little quest of shopping too just makes me feel more complete. Despite me not liking shopping that much, the thought of just being with you is what makes me give in to my dislikes and convert them into likes.

The times we giggle and laugh, and although sometimes at people, just really makes my day.

The times where just watching you try your outfit on, mystifies me with the style and the class of your elegance.

The times where we would just sit down at the end of the day and just snag a cup of hot chocolate makes all of it worthwhile.

You made my day countless times whenever I'm with you, for you are the one person that makes my heart beat fast and slow at the same time.

The days that we would spend during the holidays, oh how they just seem so short, but yet so sweet and lovely.

Just holding your hands as we go out to meet up with your friends and just relishing you in my arms when we go for a drink or two just perfects my holiday.

Not only that, the times where we would lay on the couch holding each other while watching movies just really warms my heart with the soft ember of trust and love.

Holding you here in my arms never seems to stop putting a smile on my face for the affection and the feelings I have for you are undying.

And the nights we spent together were just as memorable as the days were. Something worth to remember, the moments of togetherness.

Yes, those nights where we would eat chocolates and talked about almost everything were nights of happiness.

Those nights where we would go out with sis to a nearby mamak stall and just chill out or maybe just go to the park nearby to enjoy the cool night breeze were nights of enjoyment.

Those nights where I would just hold you close to me with my arms and give you a kiss on the cheek before watching you doze off to slumber land were nights I would never forget.

Because knowing that you would be next to me as I sleep, that feeling is so comforting and reassuring. For you and I know that no matter what may happen, we'll always be by each other's side.

Yes, those nights of just holding you and sleeping next to you, somehow were nights that I could easily sleep compared to other nights.

The anniversaries that we had, and those special occasions like New Year's Eve and birthdays, were times I would never forget too.

Oh, the sweetest date of my life, the 2nd anniversary of our love, where we went to your apartment and where we had that glitch of candle light dinner.

Romantic it was, lovely it was, but it was nowhere near compared to you. Because of that dinner, where of course we had to roast the chicken ourselves in the mist of everything, I have come to love you more for what I could only get you was that amber coloured ring from Elle, but what you did for me was totally out of this world.

A kiss first on the cheek before asking me to look back, and there it was. That 6 feet high card, with our picture when we spent the night gazing at the stars at the park in the middle, and of course, the lovely decorations of " Happy 2 Years Together Baybe ! ".

That moment will always be in my head no matter where this road takes me to.

And how we spent our New Year's Eve was just magical. The balcony, the fireworks, the cuddle, the peck on the cheek, the chocolates, the flowers. Just lovely. <3

Ah, the taste of Ferrero Rocher reminds me every bit of what happened that night. Sweet, lovely, and everlasting.

The times where we would call each other everyday just to check up on one another is what makes me feel so cherished and cared for.

The one call that we would spend around half an hour after we're done schooling.

The one call that we would spend around an hour after dinner.

The one call that we would spend around another hour before we sleep.

And in between, maybe some text messages and a few minutes calls too.

But it seems like as though we're living in a routine isn't it?

Well, actually, baybe, I couldn't believe that you are that understanding. That trustful, and certainly, I couldn't ask for more.

For you know that I need time alone at times, and despite not following the call times, you knew that I had stuff to do and had other thoughts on my mind.

But then, that only contributes to what we have to say on the phone, doesn't it?

Oh yes, the times where I felt so comfortable just telling you everything, and knowing that you will always be there to stand by me and tell me everything is alright.

No secrets, no lies, no deception. Nothing but the truth.

That's the trust I had for you baybe and I'm very very sure that's how much trust you put in me too. <3

I still remembered the times we had during our early days where we would talk and never want to hang up. The playfulness of our love at that time, well, it just goes to show that we had gone through so much until the flower of our love blossomed.

Even the times when at school, where you would just text me at the right moment when I needed someone to talk to. I don't know how you knew, but you just did.

Yes, those times were times I would never forget, for it got me through many of my woeful days.

Those days where I just needed to let my thoughts out, and you're always there to listen to them, and never judge them no matter what they may be. You were there to catch me when I fall, and pick me up when I was feeling down.

The times where we would go for a movie or two with your friends, although I'm not close to them and I was reluctant at first, but in the end I obliged to join in. Despite that, I couldn't dare imagine what it would be like when going out with them.

But all my doubts, all my fears were not left unanswered, as you came and brightened up my day with that delicate smile and trustful company of yours. Because you never left me by myself despite being there with people whom you see everyday in school. You never left me there to just be an observer as you stood there with me, next to me, side by side, as we strolled along the walkways of the malls that we go.

How you would not left me unattended and how you would just explain things to me so that I would understand and how you would keep me close so that I won't feel alienated just reassures me that you're one of those few girls who believe that love isn't something to hide nor something to be shy of, unlike many other girls.

Oh, and how could I ever forget the times where we would just lie somewhere be it on the park grass or on the bed or the couch and just let the hearts do the talking in the silence of everything. The company and companionship that we provide each other certainly was something I would want to have above anything else in this world.

Despite the lack of conversations at times, just knowing what you feel for me and how I know that you know how I feel for you is just what makes me so comfortable and undeniably at peace as well as happy when being there with you. <3

We had our fair share of troubles too, like the time dad found out about us and he did nothing but forbid us from sustaining our relationship. But even so, it only made us knew how much we cherished and needed each other.

It only made me love you even more for you would take the risk of making this relationship work than to give in to dad's demands.

The sheer joy and happiness that we endured through this relationship is something I would never ever forget as long as I'm still breathing in this world. For you have gave me something special and something people find, but never seek. You gave me love and that has made the difference in my life. For it is better to love and lost than to never have loved at all. <3

Yes, the times we had and the memories we shared and the moments we embraced together were just breathtaking and magical.

How you would just look me in the eye and give me that ever so lovely and sweet smile.

How you would just see me and ask "Is something wrong?". And I would always reply "Nothing.".

How you would just look so amiable and elegant everytime I gaze upon your stunning figure of loveliness.

Oh, baybe, how you have changed my life so much in such a short period of time. 3 years now seems all so short but in fact, it was much shorter. I'm sorry baybe for the times where I preoccupy myself with my selfish acts of being alone, and I'm truly sorry for the times where I made you question the placement of my heart.

But I'm really sorry for the times I hurt you, if I did, and certainly, I'm regrettably sorry for how our relationship had to end.

Certainly, I would give up anything just to have you back here.

You are my heart, my mind, my body, and my soul. You are my everything.

You gave me hope, you gave me something to believe in, you restored my faith, but most of all, you made me believe in love.

The days of what we had are days I would certainly remember in my mind for those days are days that I truly enjoyed myself living life the way it is.

Those moments we had, cannot be summed up in this post I know. But at least I could just conjure a small portion of what we had between us. 3 years cannot be put into one post, 3 years cannot be summed into one blog, 3 years cannot be compared even to a thousand sunsets.

Baybe, I love you, I always will. <3

I know that it might be over, and I will have to move on. But the memories you have buried in my cranium, will be something everlasting to me.

A Moment's Breath, Everlasting Remembrance. Notice what I'm trying to point out there?

Well, if you don't then nevermind, but if you do, this is just a small piece of my mind of what I think about *coughs* *coughs*.

Thanks for reading this long and heavy post. Thanks a lot, for without knowing that you read this, I would never have even began my blogging platform.

Perhaps maybe a change of link, or a new blog, or maybe even just creating only a list of people to be invited to read would be much more private and maybe better.

I will consider, but in the meantime, thanks for reading again. Good night people, and sweet dreams. =)