A Fairytale

How I'd wish I'm in a fairytale right now.

Where happy endings are always bound to happen, where everything will go your way at the end no matter what you do.

Sighs, apparently, life's nothing compared to a fairytale. Life isn't that perfect, that beautiful. Life is like a never-ending story, why? Because there is no happy endings, there is no once upon a time. It happens right now, flashing right in front of you.

At times, I wonder about the people around me, and I say to myself, am I lucky? Should I be thankful? I just don't know.

The people I want close to me, never are close to me but the people I never want close to me, will tend to want to be close to me.

It's just weird. Saddening at the same time. But heck, that's life.

When I like that someone, that someone doesn't always like me back, and when I don't really like that someone anymore, that someone will start to like me.

And when I don't really like that someone, that someone likes me, and when that someone doesn't really like me no more, I tend to like that person more than before.

Tsk tsk. I shouldn't complain and rant here. Or should I?

Well, I mean things never go the way I want them to go. Although I make the most of it, I'm never happy with the outcome of things.

Love is such an intricate thing. When you're in love, you tend to forget about everything else, sometimes even the people around you.

No idea why but it's so hard for people to love me and for me to love them back, and that is why my life is that bit much sad compared to everyone else.

I can never understand why I never fall for certain girls who get close to me, but when they stop to adhere themselves to me, I always tend to fall that little more for them.

Maybe that's why my love life sucks now. What 1 actual girlfriend since form 2? Sad right.

But maybe it's because that relationship lasted for 3years. But hey, still, it's sad.

Sigh. But when I like that girl, sometimes I just couldn't. Like the times when I was with my ex, I repelled myself from loving another girl, despite the fact that I felt that something was going on.

But even so, I managed to seperate my relationship from boy-girl friendship.

Even now, after breaking up, it's like de ja vu.

I can find girls whom I'm comfortable being with, but they'd never want to be with me, heck, actually no girl would want to be with me besides my ex.

Close friends, maybe. But girlfriend boyfriend, uggh, they'd never want to.

My lack of sensitivity and attention could be the reason why, but deep down, my heart doesn't portray what's shown and only my ex has come to know that about me. Sad. Tsk tsk.

Everyone seems to be coupled nowadays. Feels so awkward being the lamp post most of the time now, but guess I have to get used to that.

Oh yeah, I saw a rainbow today. It was beautiful but there was only half of it, but still beautiful. Oh what am I saying, ish, so unrelated.

Anyways, there are times when I just wish things would go back like to the way it was last year. Where everything seemed so simple yet perfect. I didn't had to adhere my ex for her to like me, for she liked me for who I am.

Yes, she's rich, not that popular, pretty, amiable, elegant, but most importantly, she's never a bitch and always a humble and very very selfless person. That's what I like about her, because she never, and I mean never would just leave you there all by yourself, and she checks up on you from time to time to see whether you're okay.

Yeah, I used to be on the phone quite a lot last time with her. Like 3-4 times a day and around an hour or so each time. Now, my phone seldom beeps, even when it does, I don't know, it just doesn't feel right.

Where have all the good times gone? Sighs. Is my life ever going to be a fairytale? =/



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