It's Just Me

If everything's made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am.

I can't force things, I can't change things, I certainly can't change you, and I certainly can't be you.

Everything I do, every word I say, reflects what I speak in my heart.

But now I just feel that my heart just outplayed itself this time.

I wouldn't think that it was you, coz' you knew what you wanted right from the start.

At times I feel helpless, where I can't do anything, and you're slipping away.

I know it hurts, but I can only hope for the best and if you slip away, I just have to get over it.

I know I may not be the perfect fit to your jigsaw puzzle, but certainly, I hope I can just be part of it, even if it's just the corner or the spare part.

I know I will never be able to decide what's best for you, and for me, but now, I guess I just have to let things be.

All I can do is hope for everything to turn out right, and that you would not be deeply affected by my ever increasing absence.

But I doubt you would be, for you're someone who lives by the moment and someone whom people cherish and long for.

Thus, I need not have to worry about you being lonely, for you never are and I guess, never will be.

And yet again, I was over-dependent on the people around me. Once they're gone or about to be, here I am finding myself back at square one.

Who could blame you? I certainly can't. Coz' you're just being yourself, nothing more than that. And it is I, the foolish one yet again, to have thought that it was all going to turn out well.

Guess I'll never trust that part of judgement of mine ever again, for it has let me down one time too many.

I will never understand you fully, but one thing's for sure, I'll be happy as long as you are, no matter where I stand or where I fit in your life.

I used to place a <3 on your name, but I guess I didn't deserve that much.

To be honest, I didn't deserve anything close to this. For I am a nobody, a vagabond and certainly a person who doesn't deserve much of what I should have.

For all I deserve is to retire myself into the dark corner and wait for the time on Earth to pass by and hopefully just give me a small glimpse of what I don't deserve having.

I've been selfish, but now I realize I can never have all that's good in this world.

Coz' the best of people don't have the best of everything, they make the best of everything that comes along their way.

So, I cannot be selfish just to keep these thoughts to myself and to imprison you with me, for if you are happier elsewhere, then I shall take what's left of me and hope to be happy for you too.

And sometimes I wonder, is it just me?

Well, I certainly think so.

Am I gonna be emo about this?

Of course I am, but hey, I've been in lower grounds before.

Sighs NeOnie, are you ever going to find your half of the puzzle?

Hmm, I doubt that. =/


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