Have You Wondered?

Okay, this goes under 'Thoughts', so therefore it is not going to be Italic. =)

Have you ever wondered?

What your life would be when you're old ?

Who will you be married with when you're let's say 27 ?

Will you even be married when you're 27 ?

Who are your friends when you're 27 ?

Do you even have friends when you're 27 ?

What will you be working as when you're 27 ?

Are you even alive when you're 27 ?


Sighs. Don't know why, but I feel as though my life is well, lifeless. =/
I somehow now tend to appreciate the simple things in life, and rather forget all the complex stuff around me, like studies and relationships. Somehow the simplicity of things just keeps me calm and peaceful.

Though it is hard to find this calmness, I tend to seek for it whenever I can. Sighs, it ain't easy to search for it, but certainly it's worth every second to savour it.

Life is too short to ponder upon the questions and problems around us. If you look at it one way, to you it may seem that one day has passed. But if you look at it the other way, it means one day less your time on Earth. =/

I don't even know what I'm typing here actually, just that I feel I've got stuff to say. Sighs, the dawn of college life falls upon me. Wish I could have loyal high school friends that'll stick it out with me till the end. They're loyal to a certain extent, but when things get messy, they bail out all the time. Sighs.

Still not a day goes by, that I stopped thinking about you. Coz' you are always on my mind, tormenting me without knowing it yourself.

I wonder, who are important to me in my life? They're here for now, but as for college life and working life, they tend to fade away with time. I just want to know, am I important to you? Who am I to you? I wonder, yes I really do wonder. Hmm...

I tend to put importance into people who don't put that importance in me. And that is the same as placing trust in the wrong people, as well as expecting too much from him/her. Sighs, it's just a matter of time I guess. But I'm already starting now, as in to see who is important to me. Hopefully I don't make mistakes coz' the deeper you get sucked into a whirlpool, the more damage it's gonna bring to you.

I wonder, when I move to Sg. Buloh, would you still want to hang out with me? Would you still even contact me? Would you still even want to call me out to yc or anything?

Sighs, words tell you one thing, but actions tell you another. Doubt any of those will happen. Baybe, how I'd wish you were here with me. Then, I'd never have to face this cold cold world alone. But you're gone now, and I have to live with that, even if it means being stuck here pondering and wondering how my life's gonna turn out.

The sweet memories that we had, will always be here in my heart, and certainly I would never forget that smile you give me everytime your eyes connect with mine. The sheer elegance and companionship that you brought me, I shall cherish no matter what. Coz' through all the tough times I've gone through, at times even when it means just being there in your arms, it feels so so comforting and reassuring.

You complete me, as simple as that. Coz' I know you do not care what other people may say about you being with me. And surely, it doesn't matter to me too. Coz' every single time, you're not afraid to show how much you care, and how much you really do want things to work out between us, even when in front of your friends, or in front of ah jie, I truly do love you for that, coz' you're never afraid to be there with me even if it means holding my hand despite me being that outcast among your friends. <3 <3 <3

Sighs. I wonder, will I ever find someone as caring as you? Will I ever? Ish, I don't know what to do. I feel insecure, incomplete, and uncared for. I may be paranoid, but hey, what's life without assurance, right? =/

I just don't know why. Sighs, now I wonder. How foolish can I be? To care for those who ain't ever gonna care for me after high school. And to ignore those who have a better possibility of sticking with me after high school. Sighs, I guess I'm a blind fool all this while. Sorry to certain people for this, it hurts I know, but it hurts me more to realize this. T_T

I wonder, is it time for me to let go? Is it time for me to move on? Is it time for me to search for someone who likes me for me? Sighs, I wonder, when will be the time.

No matter where I go, I'll always remember you, you, you, and you. All of you. Even if it seems like I don't care, I just want you to know, I'll be there for you, when the rain starts to pour. =)

I may not know much about what you people go through with life, maybe it's coz' we're not close, or maybe the level of transparency between us is rather poor, but no matter what, I will never betray the trust that you have bestowed on me unless you betrayed mine. Considering the fact of the secrets that I have kept from people over the years, though they might have forgotten me, but certainly I have not forgotten them.

Aite, that's all for this post. Nites ya'll. And don't waste your life on sleeping, coz' you'll have plenty of time to sleep when you're dead.

"Loving you is the only thing I can do, but you never noticed, you never knew...Coz' you've always just saw right through".