Forever and Eternity

My obstinate self just wouldn't let me think of any other name but to put this title for this post despite my brain conjuring several other titles for this post.

But FnE, could represent so many abbreviations. Feedback and Enquiry, Free and Easy, but it could also represent Forever and Eternity.

Oh, the ever sweet fragrance and scent of you passing by, just makes my heart want to adhere itself to you.

At times, your sly and cunning personality makes me wonder are you going to stick around for long or you're just gonna be gone like as quick as a nimble.

My bashful personality though begs to differ from what you may observe about my rowdiness and intricate outside. Yes, I am narcissistic and I am very conceited about myself at times, but I too have come to appreciate and admire your amiable, beautiful and eminent looks.

The agony you present to me at times was apathetic but I could not deny the fact that I myself couldn't find it in me to let you know what my heart was feeling.

Yes, I really felt that I wasn't adequate enough to adhere myself to you and it would have been rather absurd of me to do so.

I couldn't stop but loathe you, but yet, I loved you at the same time. But what I couldn't comprehend was what was going to happen if you too felt the same way. It certainly would appease me but the feeling would have been rather obscure and cold.

My inquistive and surreptitious personality made it even more hurting for me to know that you couldn't be bothered of my existence and that what I meant to you was nothing more than an insolent, negligent, obstinate, and absurd person in your life.

I knew it was difficult for me to alter the way things were made to be, but that did not hinder me nor did it halt me in my path to vanquish this concealed feeling I had for you.

I had adjourned many of my times to let you know what you mean to me, though I needed your abet, you often give me an alms which made my day much more vivid and clear than it was before. Be it in words, or just by heart, all my ambiguous feelings were gone and my feebleness was turned into robustness.

The tranquility that you bring to me, the ever so immaculate and shining incandescence that you have given to me, was the remedy that cured my ailment.

How I'd wish I could feel the same way as I did towards you before, but I couldn't. For we have moved on, the hoax and deceptions among each other, could now be indolent as we both are indolent as well.

I was never hastily in making decisions in my life, but this was something rather different and apparently, something rather unique in its own way. Thus, it wasn't in my powers to alter things as they are, but it was only in my powers and my will to just let things be as how they are made and meant to be in life.

My destitute and shallow and at times negligent knowings of love may seem to surprise you, but the fact is, I have always been that feeble in this aspect of life.

You were eminent in whatever you do and to me, you just seemed perfect and someone whom I could see myself to be with and never abdicate in the future.

But somehow, a part of me just tells me that despite your amiable and appealing appearance, it would be my misfortune and my calamity if I had chosen to be with you. For I would never know what lays ahead in this obscure and dark path.

For you are someone whom is still foreign and a mystery to me. For you are someone who can appease my heart, but at the same time shatter it into a million pieces.


"If a girl makes you suffer before you're even with her, then she's most probably not the one for you".


A quote which resembles quite a significant meaning which buries itself deep inside the grave of my heart. I'm no more than a sheer imbecile to you, a someone who you just use to appease your needs and throw away when you find that someone unneeded for.

I would have given you the world and so much more, if only I knew what you felt for me was nothing but pure and genuine love and affection without conditions, or should I say, unconditional love.

But too bad this fog of your conceited and self-imposed figure of yours has blinded me from my paths and from the vivid sky light which seized to exist at that time.

It brought me to a different path though, one less intricate and much more comprehended that the path that you forked out for me.

Yes, I'm an obstinate and absurd person in following this second path, but by all means, for choosing it will set me apart from you, then it's a path that I might come to love in the future.

But certainly, it's a lot better than being in a path I loathed for the longest time, and yet, you never knew. The only thing that could conjure in your mind when I was in that path was just nothing but sheer ridicule and an ignorant fool waiting to be disposed of.

I have...I have...Moved on.

I'm sorry for the late update for the day. Who am I talking about in that above post?

Well, actually, there's only one person who knows. Not sure if he's reading, but I'm sure he will be later on. If you are reading, you'll know who you are, and thanks for telling me to start this apathetic and ignorant war.

For it has ended now, and despite the indecisive triumph, I would gather what's left and build it up from there.


"I can't hate you anymore".



=====================================